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Here are four sets of exercises: in paragraphing, the control of sentence length, and the use of commas (two sets).

<font color=olive>UNDER CONSTRUCTION!</font color>

{{User:Tony1/Writing exercise box}}

There are four sets of exercises: in paragraphing, the control of sentence length, and the use of commas (two sets).

[[User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 2a|Return to the orginal article]]

===Exercise 1: paragraphing===

Here'sHere’s a fat, grey paragraph that functions aswas the lead ofin ana FAC. It needs to be broken up into, let'slet’s say, four manageable portions. There are a number of ways of dividing it, so we can offer only a suggested solution.

'''Your task''' is to identify three statements withinin the paragraph that appear to betake a fresh direction. Check that each of these statements can function as a "theme", that“theme”—that is, as a logical, cohesive subsidiary topic within the lead. To perform this function, each statement that you identify must be followed by extensions or enhancements of the idea that it introduces.

<div style="padding:10px; background-color:#E6E6FA">'''The Sun''' is the star at the centre of our solar system. The Earth and other matter (including other planets, asteroids, meteoroids, comets and dust) orbit the Sun, which by itself accounts for more than 99% of the solar system'ssystem’s mass. Energy from the Sun—in the form of sunlight, supports almost all life on Earth via photosynthesis, and, via heating from insolation—drives the Earth'sEarth’s climate and weather. About 74% of the Sun'sSun’s mass is hydrogen, 25% is helium, and the rest is made up of trace quantities of heavier elements. The Sun is about 4.6 billion years old and is about halfway through its main-sequence evolution, during which nuclear fusion reactions in its core fuse hydrogen into helium. Each second, more than 4four million tonnes of matter are converted into energy within the Sun'sSun’s core, producing neutrinos and solar radiation. In about 5five billion years, the Sun will evolve into a red giant and then a white dwarf, creating a planetary nebula in the process. The Sun is a magnetically active star; it supports a strong, changing magnetic field that varies from year- to- year and reverses direction about every eleven11 years. The Sun'sSun’s magnetic field gives rise to many effects that are collectively called solar activity, including sunspots on the surface of the Sun, solar flares, and variations in the solar wind that carry material through the solar system. The effects of solar activity on Earth include auroras at moderate to high latitudes, and the disruption of radio communications and electric power. Solar activity is thought to have played a large role in the formation and evolution of the solar system, and strongly affects the structure of Earth'sEarth’s outer atmosphere. Although it is the nearest star to Earth and has been intensively studied by scientists, many questions about the Sun remain unanswered; these include why its outer atmosphere has a temperature of over a million degrees K when its visible surface (the photosphere) has a temperature of just 6,0006000 K. Current topics of scientific enquiry include the sun'sSun’s regular cycle of sunspot activity, the physics and origin of solar flares and prominences, the magnetic interaction between the chromosphere and the corona, and the origin of the solar wind. </div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

You may have noticed that we removed the Wikilinks for the purpose of this exercise.

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; font-size:100%;">

Perhaps you'dyou’d like a hint as to what the "theme"“theme” of each of the four new, shorter paragraphs might be.?

</div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b> Including the start, the four themes of the lead aremight nowbe:

*introduction;

*evolution/energy production (i.e., introduced by the first brownfresh statement that you’ve sentenceidentified);

*magnetic and other solar activity; and

*unanswered questions.</b>

Before you hit “suggested solution”, go back to the exercise and see if you’ve chosen the same boundaries.</b>

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame">

When you've identified the three statements, have a look at our [[User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 2a: exercises in textual flow#Exercise 1: suggested solution|<b>suggested solution</b>]].

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

</div>

</div>

[[Image:Jane_Austen_(chopped)_2.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Jane Austen (1775–1817) is widely regarded as one of the greatest writers in the English language. Her unfailingly elegant prose depicted middle- and upper-class moral dilemmas with powerful irony.]]

When you’ve identified the three statements, have a look at our [[User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a: exercises in textual flow#Exercise 1: suggested solution|<b>suggested solution</b>]].

===Exercise 2: sentence length===

Each of these sentences is too long. Typically, the author has tried to cram too many related ideas into the sentence. For each exercise, identify where and how to split the sentence for easier reading. The “where” is easy enough—aim for roughly equal parts either side of the split; the “how” is more challenging—sometimes you’ll have to change the grammar a little.

For each question, hit “<font color=mediumblue>[Show]</font>“ in the lower box to reveal the solution. If you'd like a hint before displaying the solution, first hit “<font color=mediumblue>[Show]</font>“ in the upper box to reveal it.

'''Please widen your window if the display is distorted.'''

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:6em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION A<br/>Gregorian chant is the best-known repertory of plainchant, a form of monophonic, <br/>unaccompanied sacred song, which was developed in the Catholic Church, mainly in <br/>the Frankish lands during the 9th and 10th centuries, with later additions and redactions.</font>

</div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b>HINT<br/></b>

*A good ___location for a break is about half-way through (see the <font color=crimson>red text</font> below).

*You ''could'' start your new, second sentence with “This ...”.

*However, being singular, “this” could refer back to any of the four singular items in the first <br/>sentence: “Gregorian chant”, “best-known repertory”, “plainchant”, or “a form of monophonic, <br/>unaccompanied sacred song”. That would be fuzzy.

*To make it clear, you’ll probably need to restate one of these items at the start of your new sentence.

<br/><b><font color=midnightblue>Gregorian chant is the best-known repertory of plainchant, a form of monophonic, <br/>unaccompanied sacred so</font><font color=crimson>ng, which</font>

<font color=midnightblue> was developed in the Catholic Church, mainly in <br/>the Frankish lands during the 9th and 10th centuries, with later additions and redactions.</font></b>

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:2em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION</font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;"><b><font color=green>Gregorian chant is the best-known repertory of plainchant, a form of monophonic, <br/>unaccompanied sacred so</font><font color=crimson>ng. Plainchant</font><font color=green> was developed in the Catholic Church, mainly in <br/>

the Frankish lands during the 9th and 10th centuries, with later additions and redactions.</font></b>

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:9em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION B<br/>However, ardent debate ensued between political factions known as the Federalists <br/>and anti-Federalists over the balance between strengthening the nation’s <br/>government and weakening the rights of the people who just 10 years earlier had <br/> rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England, particularly his <br/>unwillingness to change the taxation regime.</font>

</div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b>HINT<br/></b>

*Here, again, you’ll need to tweak the grammar and repeat an item in the new sentence, <br/>preferably not straight after the previous occurrence.

<br/><b><font color=midnightblue>However, ardent debate ensued between political factions known as the Federalists <br/>and anti-Federalists over the balance between strengthening the nation’s <br/>government and weakening the rights of the </font><font color=crimson>people who</font>

<font color=midnightblue> just 10 years earlier had <br/>rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England, particularly his <br/>unwillingness to change the taxation regime.</font></b>

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:2em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION</font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;"><b><font color=green>However, ardent debate ensued between political factions known as the Federalists <br/>and anti-Federalists over the balance between strengthening the nation’s government <br/>and weakening the rights of the peopl</font><font color=crimson>e. J</font><font color=green>ust 10 years earlier</font><font color=crimson>, the same people</font><font color=green> had <br/>rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England, particularly his <br/>unwillingness to change the taxation regime.</font></b>

*We inserted "same" ("the same people") to retain the writer's emphasis.

</div>

</div>

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<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:9em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION C<br/>As such, the comic strip holds a unique place in British football folklore, demonstrated <br/>most clearly by the phrase “real Roy of the Rovers stuff”, which is typically used <br/>by football writers and commentators to describe displays of great skill or results <br/>that go against the odds, as a reference to the dramatic storylines that became <br/>the trademark of the comic strip.</font>

</div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b>HINT<br/></b>

*This is long enough to split in several ways; our solution is just one.

*We opted to repeat the main item ("the phrase") some way into the second <br/>sentence. See if you can work out where.

<b><font color=midnightblue>As such, the comic strip holds a unique place in British football folklore, demonstrated <br/>most clearly by the phrase “real Roy of the Rovers stuf</font><font color=crimson>f”, which is</font><font color=midnightblue> typically used <br/>by football writers and commentators to describe displays of great skill or results <br/>that go against the odds, as a reference to the dramatic storylines that became <br/>the trademark of the comic strip.</font></b>

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:2em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION</font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;"><b><font color=darkgreen>As such, the comic strip holds a unique place in British football folklore, demonstrated <br/>most clearly by the phrase “real Roy of the Rovers stuf<font color=crimson>f”. Ty</font>pically used by <br/>football writers and commentators to describe displays of great skill or results <br/>that go against the odds, </font><font color=crimson>the phrase</font><font color=darkgreen> is a reference to the dramatic storylines <br/>that became the trademark of the comic strip.</font></b>

*Like "the same people" in the previous exercise, the key back-reference here <br/>("the phrase") is in the middle of the second sentence. This sometimes works well.

</div>

</div>

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<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:9em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION D<br/>Originally developed for racing cars to prevent the foaming of the engine oil <br/>by the crankshaft, which created a serious drop in oil pressure, the system <br/>circulated 12 litres of oil between the storage tank—mounted inside the <br/>right-front fender—and the engine, as opposed to the usual four or five litres <br/>that circulated in V8s with a standard oil pan and pump.</font>

</div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b>HINT<br/></b>

*Bring the subject of this long sentence back to the start; and

*make two stand-alone sentences, each starting with the (same) subject.

</div>

</div>

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<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:2em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION</font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;"><b><font color=crimson>The system was</font><font color=darkgreen> originally developed for racing cars to prevent the foaming <br/>of the engine oil by the crankshaft, which created a serious drop in oil <br/>pressu</font><font color=crimson>re. T</font><font color=darkgreen>he system circulated 12 litres of oil between the storage tank—mounted <br/>inside the right-front fender—and the engine, as opposed to the usual four or five <br/>litres that circulated in V8s with a standard oil pan and pump.</font></b>

*You might consider avoiding the repetition of the subject ("the system") by using a semicolon <br/>at the same boundary, instead of a full-stop. The magic of a semicolon is that you can use <br/>"it" to refer right back to the start of the statement.

*If the second section is still too long for your liking, you could split off the last part into a third, final sentence.

The text would then look something like this:

<br/><b><font color=darkgreen>The system was originally developed for racing cars to prevent the foaming <br/>of the engine oil by the crankshaft, which created a serious drop in oil <br/>pressu</font><font color=crimson>re; it</font><font color=darkgreen> circulated 12 litres of oil between the storage tank—mounted inside<br/> the right-front fender—and the engi</font><font color=crimson>ne. This compared favourably with</font><font color=darkgreen> the usual four or five litres <br/> that circulated in V8s with a standard oil pan and pump.</font></b>

</div>

</div>

[[Image:Hemingway's writing desk in Key West.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The writing desk of Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961), an American novelist whose distinctive writing style is characterised by economy and understatement.]]

<!--After leaving school at the age of 14, Welensky found employment with [[Rhodesia Railways]] as a fireman, while putting his physical strength to work as a boxer, becoming the professional heavyweight boxing champion of Rhodesia at 19 and holding the position until he was 21.-->

===Exercise 3: smoothly integrating ideas into a sentence===

Although the title here says "sentence", learning how to integrate ideas effectively can involve the relationship ''between'' sentences, as well as ''within'' them. Some of the exercises thus involve two sentences.

Try to determine how the ideas in these exercises might be better integrated. This may involve using a more appropriate link (e.g., an additive rather than a contrastive word, or a semicolon or full-stop instead of "and").

For each question, hit <font color=blue><span style="font-size:8pt">[Show]</span></font> in the lower box to reveal the solution. If you'd like a hint before displaying the solution, first hit <font color=blue><span style="font-size:8pt">[Show]</span></font> in the upper box to reveal it.

'''Please widen your window if the display is distorted.'''

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:6em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION A</font><br/><font color=midnightblue>The Earth's atmosphere has no definite boundary, slowly becoming thinner until <br/>it fades into outer space. Three-quarters of the atmosphere's mass, however, is <br/>contained within the first 11 kilometres of the planet's surface.</font>

</div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b><font color=black>HINT</font><br/></b>

*How does the second sentence grow out of the first—by:

**contradicting it?

**causing it, or being caused by it? or

**just adding further information to it?

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:2em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION</font> </div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;"><b><font color=green>The Earth's atmosphere has no definite boundary, slowly becoming thinner until <br/>it fades into outer space. Three-quarters of the atmosphere's mass</font><font color=crimson><s>, however,</s></font><font color=green> is <br/>contained within the first 11 kilometres of the planet's surface.<br/></font></b>

*The second sentence just adds more information, so "however", with its commas, <br/>should be removed.</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:6em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION B</font><br/><font color=midnightblue>He is the elder brother of Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher and they are <br/>well-known as squabbling siblings.</font>

</div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b><font color=black>HINT</font><br/></b>

*How close are the two ideas in this sentence?

</div>

</div>

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<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:2em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION</font> </div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;"><b><font color=green>He is the elder brother of Oasis frontman Liam Gallaghe</font><font color=crimson>r; t</font><font color=darkgreen>hey are <br/>well-known as squabbling siblings.<br/></font></b>

*In most contexts, announcing that they're brothers and telling us that they squabble will be too different to belong in the one sentence, particularly a short one. Inserting a comma before "and" would be better than nothing, but a semicolon instead of "and" provides a more distinct boundary between the ideas.

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:6em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION C</font><br/><font color=midnightblue>The accusations were largely directed towards senior civil servants, particularly in the <br/>Home Office, but also included officers of the diplomatic corps.</font>

</div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b><font color=black>HINT</font><br/></b>

*What's the relationship between the last clause ("but also included ...") and the previous statement?

*There's a redundant word here, too.

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:2em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=green>SOLUTION</font> </div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;"><b><font color=green>The accusations were largely directed towards senior civil servants, particularly in the <br/>Home Office, </font><font color=crimson><s>but also</s> </font><font color=saddlebrown>and</font><font color=darkgreen> included officers of the diplomatic corps.<br/></font></b>

*The relationship is additive, not contrastive.

*"Largely" already indicates that the accusations were directed at other people as well.

*Therefore "and", not "but" should link to what is simply additional, expected information.

*As usual, "also" adds nothing and should be removed.

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:6em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION D<br/>The ranges of ''L. raniformis'' and ''L. castanea'' overlap with that of the Green and <br/>Golden Bell Frog, and the general body shape and coloration of the three species are similar.</font>

</div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b><font color=black>HINT</font></b><br/>

*Are the two ideas close enough to be glued together like this?

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:2em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION</font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;"><b><br/><font color=green>The ranges of ''L. raniformis'' and ''L. castanea'' overlap with that of the Green and <br/>Golden Bell Fro</font><font color=crimson>g; t</font><font color=green>he general body shape and coloration of the three species are similar.<br/></font></b>

*Again, the two clauses are too different to be linked with a comma + ''and''.

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:6em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION E<br/>He formed several bands while at high school: the first, <br/>The Shadow Blasters, was short-lived, but the second, The <br/>Golden Chords, lasted longer.</font></div>

<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;">

<b><font color=black>HINT</font><br/></b>

*How are the two clauses related?

</div>

</div>

<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame collapsed">

<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:2em; font-size:100%;">

<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION</font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left;"><b><font color=darkgreen>He formed several bands while at high school: the first, <br/>The Shadow Blasters, was short-live</font><font color=crimson>d; t</font><font color=darkgreen>he second, The <br/>Golden Chords, lasted longer.</font></b>

*Since the second clause in no way contradicts the first, comma + "and", or a semicolon will do the trick.

</div>

</div>

===Exercise 4: commas===

<!--It is sponsored by [[Canonical Ltd]] (owned by [[Mark Shuttleworth]]) and the name of the distribution comes from the [[South African]] concept of ''[[Ubuntu (ideology)|ubuntu]]''&mdash;roughly, "humanity towards others". (Not close enough for "and"—use semicolon)

Ubuntu packages have generally been based on packages from [[Debian]]'s [[Debian#Development versions|unstable branch]]: both distributions use Debian's [[deb (file format)|deb]] [[Software package|package]] format and [[Advanced Packaging Tool|APT]]/[[Synaptic]] to manage installed packages. (Replace "and," with colon)

Kombi, however, is not only the name of the passenger variant, but is also the Australasian and Brazilian term for the whole Type 2 family in much the same way that they are all called VW-Bus in Germany, even the pickup truck variations

Candler's successful marketing, continued by his successors such as Robert Woodruff, established Coke as a major soft drink first in the United States and later around the world.

During the breeding season males experience hormonal changes including an increase in [[luteinizing hormone]] and [[testosterone]] levels and their [[testes]] double in size.

" It was one of the first true assault rifles, and remains the most widely used." (Remove comma).-->

===Suggested solutions===

====Exercise 1: suggested solution====

We'veWe’ve coloured three statements that are suitable for starting new paragraphs. Including the start, the four themes of the lead are now:

*introduction;

*evolution/energy production (i.e., introduced by first brown sentence);

Line 86 ⟶ 262:

*unanswered questions.

<div style=“padding:10px; background-color:#E6E6FA”>'''The Sun''' is the star at the centre of our solar system. The Earth and other matter (including other planets, asteroids, meteoroids, comets and dust) orbit the Sun, which by itself accounts for more than 99% of the solar system'ssystem’s mass. Energy from the Sun—in the form of sunlight, supports almost all life on Earth via photosynthesis, and, via heating from insolation—drives the Earth'sEarth’s climate and weather. <font color=brown maroon >About 74% of the Sun'sSun’s mass is hydrogen, 25% is helium, and the rest is made up of trace quantities of heavier elements.</font color> The Sun is about 4.6 billion years old and is about halfway through its main-sequence evolution, during which nuclear fusion reactions in its core fuse hydrogen into helium. Each second, more than 4four million tonnes of matter are converted into energy within the Sun'sSun’s core, producing neutrinos and solar radiation. In about 5five billion years, the Sun will evolve into a red giant and then a white dwarf, creating a planetary nebula in the process. The Sun is a magnetically active star; it supports a strong, changing magnetic field that varies year-to-year and reverses direction about every eleven years. <font color=brownmaroon>The Sun is a magnetically active star; it supports a strong, changing [[magnetic field]] that varies from year- to- year and reverses direction about every eleven11 years.</font color> The Sun'sSun’s magnetic field gives rise to many effects that are collectively called solar activity, including sunspots on the surface of the Sun, solar flares, and variations in the solar wind that carry material through the solar system. The effects of solar activity on Earth include auroras at moderate to high latitudes, and the disruption of radio communications and electric power. Solar activity is thought to have played a large role in the formation and evolution of the solar system, and strongly affects the structure of Earth'sEarth’s outer atmosphere. <font color=brown maroon >Although it is the nearest star to Earth and has been intensively studied by scientists, many questions about the Sun remain unanswered;</font color> these include why its outer atmosphere has a temperature of over a million degrees K when its visible surface (the photosphere) has a temperature of just 6,0006000 K. Current topics of scientific enquiry include the sun'sSun’s regular cycle of sunspot activity, the physics and origin of solar flares and prominences, the magnetic interaction between the chromosphere and the corona, and the origin of the solar wind.</div>

Here, then, is how the new lead will appear.

<div style=“padding:10px; background-color:#E6E6FA”>'''The Sun''' is the star at the centre of our solar system. The Earth and other matter (including other planets, asteroids, meteoroids, comets and dust) orbit the Sun, which by itself accounts for more than 99% of the solar system'ssystem’s mass. Energy from the Sun—in the form of sunlight, supports almost all life on Earth via photosynthesis, and, via heating from insolation—drives the Earth'sEarth’s climate and weather.

:About 74% of the Sun'sSun’s mass is hydrogen, 25% is helium, and the rest is made up of trace quantities of heavier elements. The Sun is about 4.6 billion years old and is about halfway through its main-sequence evolution, during which nuclear fusion reactions in its core fuse hydrogen into helium. Each second, more than 4four million tonnes of matter are converted into energy within the Sun'sSun’s core, producing neutrinos and solar radiation. In about 5five billion years, the Sun will evolve into a red giant and then a white dwarf, creating a planetary nebula in the process. The Sun is a magnetically active star; it supports a strong, changing magnetic field that varies from year- to- year and reverses direction about every eleven11 years.

:The Sun'sSun’s magnetic field gives rise to many effects that are collectively called solar activity, including sunspots on the surface of the Sun, solar flares, and variations in the solar wind that carry material through the solar system. The effects of solar activity on Earth include auroras at moderate to high latitudes, and the disruption of radio communications and electric power. Solar activity is thought to have played a large role in the formation and evolution of the solar system, and strongly affects the structure of Earth'sEarth’s outer atmosphere.

:Although it is the nearest star to Earth and has been intensively studied by scientists, many questions about the Sun remain unanswered; these include why its outer atmosphere has a temperature of over a million degrees K when its visible surface (the photosphere) has a temperature of just 6,0006000 K. Current topics of scientific enquiry include the sun'sSun’s regular cycle of sunspot activity, the physics and origin of solar flares and prominences, the magnetic interaction between the chromosphere and the corona, and the origin of the solar wind.</div>

===Exercise 2: sentence length===

Each of these sentences is too long. Typically, the author has tried to cram too many related ideas into the sentence. In each exercise, identify these ideas, and decide where and how you'd split up the sentence for easier reading.

[[User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a: exercises in textual flow#Exercise 2: sentence length|<b>Return to the next exercise</b>]] or [[User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a|<b>return to the original article</b>]]

QUESTION A:

However, ardent debate between political factions known as the Federalists and anti-Federalists ensued over the balance between strengthening the nation's government and weakening the rights of the people who 10 years earlier had explicitly rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England.

QUESTION B:

The need for a stronger central government with a unified currency and the ability to conduct the affairs of state, such as foreign policy (and that could bind all of the states under negotiated treaties and agreements rather than be undermined by a single state's refusal to agree to an international treaty) led to the stronger federal government that was negotiated at the Convention.

BIN

We might choose to isolate the following sequence of ideas in this sentence, although there are several other ways of locating the boundaries that would be just as useful in disentangling this complex web:

Nevertheless, the differing agendas of the two sources can still be traced, most notably in the seven of each clean animal required by the Jahwist text so that some can be sacrificed to God without killing off a species, contrasted with the pair of each animal given in the Priestly text, as no sacrifices can be made under priestly rules until the first priest (Aaron) is created in the time of the Exodus.

A San Diego law championed by Pete Wilson in 1971 cited traffic safety and driver distraction as the reason for the billboard ban, but that law too was narrowly overturned by the Supreme Court in 1981, in part because it banned non-commercial as well as commercial billboards.

<font color=green>The need for a stronger central government with a unified currency and the ability to conduct the affairs of state</font color>, <font color=brown>such as foreign policy (and that could bind all of the states under negotiated treaties and agreements<font color=blue> rather than be undermined by a single state's refusal to agree to an international treaty) <font color=purple>led to the stronger federal government that was negotiated at the Convention</font color>.

Several other indications described in the 17 February 1983 Permanent Operational Assignment to discover a nuclear attack were present during Able Archer 83, furthering the impression that the exercise might be a cover for a real attack.

Each of these ideas could form a single sentence; since the middle two run are particularly close, we could separate them by a semicolon rather than a full-stop. We'll need to carefully change the grammar so that each sentence—including the two segments either side of the semicolon—is a stand-alone sentence. The four ideas are coloured as above, and the extra bits that we've added—either through simple deduction from the context (e.g., "the delegates identified") or to make them fit together grammatically (e.g., "In particular" and "This", which both link to the previous clause)—are in black.

Several other indications described in the 17 February 1983 Permanent Operational Assignment to discover a nuclear attack were present during Able Archer 83, furthering the impression that the exercise might be a cover for a real attack.

The delegates identified <font color=green>the need for a stronger central government with a unified currency and the ability to conduct the affairs of state</font color>. In particular, they saw federal control of <font color=brown>foreign policy as a way of binding all of the states under negotiated treaties and agreements</font color>; until then, <font color=brown>foreign policy </font color>had frequently been <font color=blue>undermined by a single state's refusal to agree to an international treaty</font color>. This <font color=purple>led to the negotiation of a stronger federal government at the Convention</font color>.

*"The Ministry had links through the government which ensured that anyone who asked awkward questions could be subject to detention or expulsion, and such action was taken against several foreign journalists (for example, John Worrall, correspondent for The Guardian, was expelled in January 1969)."

We started with one sentence of 64 words. We've transformed this into three sentences (four if you count the semicolon in the middle), that is slightly longer in total: 77 words: 23 + 23 + 18 + 13. The new structure is much easier to read, even though it's longer.

*"Van der Byl's exploits as a big-game hunter (he shot his first lion in a garden in Northern Rhodesia at the age of 15[10]), a womaniser and a patron of the arts helped to reinforce his standing and many in the Rhodesian Front believed him to be "a 19th century-style connoisseur, a man of culture and an aristocrat-statesman" in the words of Michael Hartnack, a South African journalist[30]."

===Exercise 3: commas===

"In April 1972, van der Byl insisted that Rhodesia would not implement any part of an agreement made with the United Kingdom in November 1971 unless Rhodesia's independence was acknowledged, regardless of the answer from the Pearce Commission who were then investigating whether the settlement proposals would be approved by the people of Rhodesia."

The Bricker Amendment is the name applied to a series of proposed amendments to the United States Constitution considered by the United States Senate in the 1950s which would have placed restrictions on the scope and ratification of treaties and executive agreements entered into by the United States. American politics has always contained an isolationist element which was a particularly potent force in the 1930s and early 1940s, but went dormant with the American entry into World War II. After the conclusion of hostilities and the start of the Cold War with the Soviet Union actively attempting to spread Communism abroad, fears of the loss of American sovereignty to the newly created United Nations and its affiliated international organizations were spread by Frank E. Holman of the American Bar Association (ABA) and others who cited precedents of state and federal courts, notably Missouri v. Holland. They claimed these decisions showed how treaties could override the Constitution and be used by foreigners to threaten American liberties.

<!-- The pharmacological properties of the compounds prepared initially were disappointing, and Sternbach abandoned the project. (Comma or no comma?-->

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[[Category:User essays on style|Exercises in textual flow]]

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===Exercise 4: commas===