User talk:Tony1/Exercises in textual flow: Difference between revisions

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:As such, the comic strip holds a unique place in British football folklore, demonstrated most clearly by the phrase “real Roy of the Rovers stuff”. Commonly used by football writers and commentators in describing displays of great skill or results that go against the odds, the phrase refers to the dramatic storylines that became the trademark of the comic strip.

I guess my point is that these are pretty good exercises for methods of splitting long sentences, but I feel like in some cases they fail to address the underlying problem (ex. A) or they introduce new problems (B & C). --[[User:Spangineer|Spangineer]]^{[[:es:Usuario:Spangineer|es]]}&nbsp;<small><font color="brown">[[User talk:Spangineer|<span style="font-size:smaller; color:brown;">(háblame)]]</font></smallspan>]] 16:49, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

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I read it several times and then realised (I ''think'') where the loss of meaning might be. Can I add "same" to get around this?

:However, ardent debate between political factions known as the Federalists and anti-Federalists ensued over the balance between strengthening the nation’s government and weakening the rights of the people. Just 10 years earlier, the <fontspan colorstyle="color:crimson;">same</fontspan> people had rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England, particularly his unwillingness to change the taxation regime.

Either word order is possible, but I think the existing one is the easiest. (Otherwise, there might be an undesirable juxtaposition of "the people" and "the factions".)

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:Question A: Ah, that makes sense; I hadn't considered Italy. Question B: Yes, that's the loss of meaning that I'm talking about; sorry I didn't make that more clear. Using "same" solves the problem. Explain what you mean though by juxtaposition of factions and people (they seem far apart to me):

::However, ardent debate ensued between political factions known as the Federalists and anti-Federalists over the balance between strengthening the nation’s government and weakening the rights of the people.

:Or does that just open a new can of worms by separating the verb from "over"? "Ensue" here has two prepositions, so it can't be next to both, and I guess I just like seeing the verb earlier in the sentence. Not a big deal though. Question C: Cool =). --[[User:Spangineer|Spangineer]]^{[[:es:Usuario:Spangineer|es]]}&nbsp;<small><font color="brown">[[User talk:Spangineer|<span style="font-size:smaller; color:brown;">(háblame)]]</font></smallspan>]] 13:07, 4 August 2006 (UTC)

"Over" was the word I was looking for yesterday (Question B). I think I'll use your suggestion. Thanks muchly. [[User:Tony1|Tony]] 14:49, 4 August 2006 (UTC)

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Again, thank you. [[User:Bettymnz4|Bettymnz4]] ([[User talk:Bettymnz4|talk]]) 22:59, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

:I'll change it now. Thanks for your kind words. [[User:Tony1|<fontspan colorstyle="color:darkgreen;">'''Tony'''</font span>]] [[User talk:Tony1|<fontspan colorstyle="color:darkgreen;">(talk)</font span>]] 00:32, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

==Commas and Solutions==

The fourth excercise is not clear enough to be of general use. Please clarify it. I suggest a short note at the start and a indication of what is going in each drill.

Also the putpose of the text following solution #1 is unclear. [[User:OrenBochman|BO]] &#124; [[User talk:OrenBochman|Talk]] 10:12, 3 July 2012 (UTC)