Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal: Difference between revisions

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{{short description|1983 essay about programming}}

"'''Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal'''" (a parody of the bestselling 1982 tongue-in-cheek book on stereotypes about masculinity ''[[Real Men Don't Eat Quiche]]'') is an essay<ref name=ryerson>{{cite web

| title = "'''Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal'''"<ref name=ryerson>{{cite web

| url = http://www.ee.ryerson.ca/~elf/hack/realmen.html

| title = Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal

{{Wikipedia books |title = Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal}}

| author = Post, Ed

| date author = July 1983Post, Ed

|date = July 1983

| publisher = [[Datamation]]

| archiveurl = https://web.archive.org/web/20120206010243/http://www.webcitationee.orgryerson.ca/659yh1oSh ~elf/hack/realmen.html

|archivedate archivedate= 2012-02-02 06

|url-status = live

}} ''"...&nbsp;Real Programmers use FORTRAN. Quiche Eaters use PASCAL&nbsp;..."''</ref> about [[computer programming]] written by Ed Post of [[Tektronix, Inc.]], and published in July 1983 as a [[letter to the editor]] in ''[[Datamation]]''.<ref>Volume 29 number 7</ref>

}}</ref> (a parody of the bestselling 1982 tongue-in-cheek book on stereotypes about masculinity ''[[Real Men Don't Eat Quiche]]'') is an essay about [[computer programming]] written by Ed Post of [[Tektronix, Inc.]],<ref>[https://books.google.com/books?id=_S4EAAAAMBAJ&pg=PA34 ''Note:'' Graphic Software Systems was a 1981 spin-off of Tektronix]</ref> and published in July 1983 as a reader's contribution in ''[[Datamation]]''.<ref group="lower-alpha">Volume 29 number 7</ref><ref>{{Cite book |url=https://archive.org/details/bitsavers_datamation_52582203/page/n245/mode/2up |title=Datamation |date=July 1983 |publisher=Technical Publishing |volume=29 |___location=United States |pages=263-265 |language=en}}</ref>

==History==

Widely circulated on [[Usenet]] in its day, and well known in the computer software industry,<ref name=Raymond>{{cite web

| url = http://www.th-soft.com/zzJargon/R.htm#Real_Programmer

| title = Real Programmer

| work = The New Hacker's Dictionary

| date = July 27, 1993

| authoreditor = Eric S. Raymond,| editoraccessdate = 2008-03-28

}}</ref> the article compares and contrasts ''real programmers'', who use punch cards and write programs in [[FORTRAN]] or [[assembly language]], with modern-day "quiche eaters" who use programming languages such as [[Pascal (programming language)|Pascal]] which support [[structured programming]] and impose restrictions meant to prevent or minimize common [[software bug|bug]]s due to inadvertent programming logic errors. Also mentioned are feats such as [[Seymour Cray]], the inventor of the [[Cray-1]] supercomputer, togglingusing in<ref>''Togglingmanual in''control refersswitches to setting an array of [[toggle switch]]es or rocker switches which supplement program memory</ref>load the first operating system for the [[CDC 7600]] through the front panel without notes when it was first powered on.

| accessdate = 2008-03-28

}}</ref> the article compares and contrasts ''real programmers'', who use punch cards and write programs in [[FORTRAN]] or [[assembly language]], with modern-day "quiche eaters" who use programming languages such as [[Pascal (programming language)|Pascal]] which support [[structured programming]] and impose restrictions meant to prevent or minimize common [[software bug|bug]]s due to inadvertent programming logic errors. Also mentioned are feats such as the inventor of the [[Cray-1]] supercomputer toggling in<ref>''Toggling in'' refers to setting an array of [[toggle switch]]es or rocker switches which supplement program memory</ref> the first operating system for the [[CDC 7600]] through the front panel without notes when it was first powered on.

The archetypalnext Real Programmer isyear [[MelEd KayeNather]]’s of the ''[[RoyalThe McBeeStory of Mel]]'', Computeralso Corporationknown whoas is''The immortalisedrealest in [[The Storyprogrammer of Mel]]all'', oneextended ofthe theme. Immortalized in the mostpiece famousis piecesMel Kaye of hackerthe folklore[[Royal McBee]] Computer Corporation. As the story famously puts it, "He wrote in machine code—in 'raw, unadorned, inscrutable [[hexadecimal]] numbers. Directly."'"

TheSince termthen, ''Real Programmer'' inthe [[computer jargon|computer folklore]] term ''Real Programmer'' has come to describe the archetypical "hardcore" programmer who eschews the modern languages and tools of the day in favour of more direct and efficient (for the machine, decidedly not for the programmer) solutions—[[low-level programming language|closer to the hardware]].<ref name=Raymond/> The allegedterm definingis featuresused ofin amany "Real Programmer" are extremelysubsequent subjectivearticles,<ref>{{cite differing with time and place, in the fashion of the "[[no true Scotsman]]" fallacy.journal

The next year [[Ed Nather]]’s "The realest programmer of all"<ref name=usenet-1984-11-20>Matt Crawford [http://groups.google.com/group/net.jokes/browse_thread/thread/936255290cc94a96 The realest programmer of all] Newsgroup: net.jokes November 20, 1984.</ref> [[USENET]] posting extended the theme, as have many subsequent articles,<ref>{{cite journal

| url = http://csdl2.computer.org/persagen/DLAbsToc.jsp?resourcePath=/dl/mags/so/&toc=comp/mags/so/1995/06/s6toc.xml&DOI=10.1109/52.469755

| author = Ian Gorton

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| accessdate = 2008-03-28

| doi = 10.1109/52.469755

| url-access = subscription

}}</ref><ref>{{cite web

| url = http://www.cs.utah.edu/~elb/folklore/afs-paper.ps

| title = The Heroic Hacker: Legends of the Computer Age

Line 44 ⟶ 48:

| archiveurl = https://web.archive.org/web/20080419225755/http://www.suslik.org/Humour/Computer/Langs/real_prog2.html

| archivedate = 2008-04-19

}}</ref> [[Webcomic|webcomicswebcomic]]s<ref>[http://xkcd.com/378/ REAL programmers] xkcd.com</ref> and in-jokes&mdash;withalthough the alleged defining features of a "Real Programmer" differingdiffer with time and place, in the way of the "[[no true Scotsman]]".

==The Real Programmer in computer folklore==

The term ''Real Programmer'' in [[computer jargon|computer folklore]] has come to describe the archetypical "hardcore" programmer who eschews the modern languages and tools of the day in favour of more direct and efficient solutions—[[low-level programming language|closer to the hardware]].<ref name=Raymond/> The alleged defining features of a "Real Programmer" are extremely subjective, differing with time and place, in the fashion of the "[[no true Scotsman]]" fallacy.

The archetypal Real Programmer is [[Mel Kaye]] of the [[Royal McBee]] Computer Corporation who is immortalised in [[The Story of Mel]], one of the most famous pieces of hacker folklore. As the story famously puts it, "He wrote in machine code—in 'raw, unadorned, inscrutable [[hexadecimal]] numbers. Directly."'

==See also==

*[[{{§l|Pascal (programming language)#Criticism|PascalEarly criticism]]}}

{{Wikipedia books|Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal}}

*[[Pascal (programming language)#Criticism|Pascal criticism]]

==References==

{{reflist}}

== Notes ==

{{reflist|group=lower-alpha}}

==External links==

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[[Category:Computer folklore]]

[[Category:Pascal (programming language)]]

[[Category:1983 essays]]

[[Category:1983 in computing]]

[[Category:Parodies of literature]]

{{Compu-lang-stub}}

[[Category:Computer humour]]