Wikipedia:More Best of BJAODN and Blockquote element: Difference between pages

Revision as of 08:17, 4 December 2004

Revision as of 12:10, 20 June 2007

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{{otheruses4|the HTML element|the text quotation style|block quote}}

{{bjaodn}}

In [[HTML]] and [[XHTML]], the '''<code>blockquote</code>''' [[HTML element|element]] defines a [[block-quote|block quotation]] within the text. The syntax is <code>&lt;blockquote&gt;blockquoted text goes here&lt;/blockquote&gt;</code>.

This is a collection of the best jokes and nonsense from [[Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense]]. The criterion for a joke getting on this page is simple: at least one [[Wikipedia:Wikipedians|Wikipedian]] found it funny.

The '''<code>blockquote</code>''' element is used to indicate the quotation of a large section of text from another source. Using the default HTML styling of most web browsers, it will indent the right and left margins both on the display and in printed form.

== From [[Code Fairy]] ==

The '''Code Fairy''' is a fictional spirit said to eat [[semicolon]]s and [[curly braces]] from [[computer]] [[source code]].

It should be noted that in many [[Wiki]] [[Wikitext|markup languages]], this is different from the use of an initial colon in a paragraph, which may be translated into an HTML <code>dd</code> element enclosed within a <code>dl</code> element. (That is a 'data definition' within a 'definition list', without there being any preceding 'data term' or <code>dt</code> element). Other [[Cascading Style Sheets|CSS]] techniques may alternatively be applied. In any case, the intention is usually only to indent the left margin.

It is well known that the [[Microsoft Windows|Windows]] code fairy has the largest wings but cannot fly. The [[Apple]] code fairy has the most beautiful wings but they are so small that everyone believes they don't exist. The [[Linux]] code fairy looks different depending on who kissed it last. The [[Unix|UNIX]] code fairy looks like grumpy and old. The [[SCO v. IBM|SCO-Linux]] code fairy looks like a lawyer and pursues anyone who kisses the [[Linux]] code fairy.

{{web-stub}}

The Code Fairy is an example of [[folklore]] [[mythology]] which non-[[programmer]]s know is [[fiction]], but which is sometimes presented by computer programmers as fact, as a way of explaning how a [[computer program]] stops working after [[compiling]] it, without altering the source code.

[[Category:HTML]]

The affected software does not include programs written in [[Assembly language|assembler]], which is more subject to [[bit rot]] due to its age and smaller size. Other immune varieties include [[Visual Basic]], due to its lack of edible punctuation, and [[script (computer programming)|script]]s which have a short life span and often end up in a [[bit bucket]] before reaching maturity -- especially on [[website]]s, which are plagued by [[Shub-Internet]] and [[link rot]]. This is disputed by traditionalists, who attribute the various immunities to lack of imagination.

[[XHTML]] was an attempt to protect source code by ensuring that it was always placed within [[Angle bracket|protective punctuation with sharp corners]] (see also [[Caltrop]]). When [[wiki]]s replaced pointy puctuation with [[square bracket]]s, it was found that [[Wikipedia:Vandalism|vandals]] thrived on the new websites, while visiting trolls usually returned to their normal feeding grounds on [[Usenet]] and other sites where punctuation was only used for [[emoticon]]s.

When the age and declining popularity of the [[C programming language]] threatened to endanger the Code Fairy, groups of developers gathered at conferences and in committees to clap hands and state their beliefs, ensuring that semicolons and curly braces remained in languages such as [[C Plus Plus|C++]] and [[C Sharp|C#]]. However, many languages in the [[curly brace family]] chose to avoid compilers completely, proving that there's more than one way to generate software problems.

----

Another Code Fairy is the entity responsible for delivering software enhancements that are requested by users and managers and make demands beyond current technology and [[Theory of constraints|resource constraints]]. She is often described as [[PERT|pert]] or [[Agile Methods|agile]]. [[Project manager]]s and [[project management software|software]] often use the Code Fairy to resolve "scheduling conflicts". Her natural enemies include the [[Scope creep]], who often lurks alongside the [[Critical path]]. The [[Critical chain]] is sometimes used to restrain those who attempt to invoke her talents.

== Matchless atrocity (What Links Here: [[Torture]]) ==

"The unlucky sufferer, bound hand and foot, was escorted to the nearest International House of Pancakes and force-fed various monstrosities festooned with nuts, cherries, syrup, chocolate chips, and whipped cream."

== Inherently funny word ==

[[Image:Cow-on pole, with horns.jpeg|300px|The word "cow" may be inherently funny.]]

''Hmm, why was the picture removed? Btw, an earlier version of that caption read "Cows are suspected to be inherently funny.". [[User:195.167.169.36|195.167.169.36]] 13:56, 13 Sep 2004 (UTC)''

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== From [[Hell, Michigan]] ==

Hell's main export is, appropriately, [[kitsch]]. Among other things, it has a "fully non-accredited" college, Damnation University -- DamU to alumni -- that sells half-singed diplomas, and a small post office in the back of the general store popular with irate taxpayers and recent divorcees. Also a motorcycle dealership and an ice cream parlor, which bear mentioning by virtue of being the only other businesses in town.

== From [[User:D3h 3l33t (484I r00lz]] ==

4h 1zzz 4 (!r(uM\/3nti0N D3v!(3, s0 !f 4h 1zzz rh!!D!N9 1n Urr K4R U m!9Ht 93T Bu5xxxed b/ d3h 3ff-B33-3Y3!!!!!!

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''Note'': The user name means "The elite cabal rules". The text means "I is a circumvention device, so if I is riding in your car you might get busted by the F.B.I.!"

== From [[User talk:D3h 3l33t (484I r00lz]]==

Could you please write your [[m:Help:Edit summary|edit summaries]] in plain [[English language|English]]? They would be much more helpful than the [[leet]]speak summaries that you are currently using. Thanks. [[User:Guanaco|Guan]][[User talk:Guanaco|aco]] 17:05, Aug 6, 2004 (UTC)

:U zh0ULD 83 gr34Tphhu1 zz@T 3y3 d0 N0t #r!te zz3m !N [[Klingon language||<L!N90N]]!!!! &nd zz@t 3Y3 M 3D!T!N9 d3h 4RT!(L3ZZZ zzz3mz31v3zz 1n uR 3NN9L!zh33!!! R U 90!N9 2 84N M3 2 d3h http://l33t.wikipedia.org n0\/\/?

:[[User:D3h 3l33t (484I r00lz|D3h 3l33t (484I r00lz]]

----

''Note'': The message means "You should be grateful that I do not write them in Klingon! And that I am editing the articles themselves in your English! Are you going to ban me to the http://l33t.wikipedia.org now?

== From Featured Article Candidates ==

[[Exploding whale]] is nominated as a [[WP:FAC|Featured Article Candidate]] - here's one of the (surprisingly few) objections:

*I fear there might not quite be enough meat to this article. [[User:Pcb21|Pcb21|]] [[User_talk:Pcb21|Pete]] 15:57, 12 Aug 2004 (UTC)

:*That one stinks. [[User:Meelar|[[User:Meelar|Meelar]] [[User talk:Meelar|(talk)]]]] 15:59, 2004 Aug 12 (UTC)

::*Yow! I see everyone is having a whale of a time making bad jokes about this story. It makes me so sad I want to blubber. - [[User:Ta bu shi da yu|Ta bu shi da yu]] 10:00, 13 Aug 2004 (UTC)

:::*Well as long as you don't blow your top about it.... [[User:Pcb21|Pcb21|]] [[User_talk:Pcb21|Pete]] 10:13, 13 Aug 2004 (UTC)

''What a terrible carrion that was! [[User:Zoney|<B>zoney</B>]]&nbsp;|&nbsp;[[User talk:Zoney|<B>talk</B>]] 13:38, 16 Aug 2004 (UTC)''

== You have two Wikipedias... ==

The following joke was deleted from [[You have two cows]] as an inappropriate self-reference. It's still funny, though...

'''[[Wikipedia]]nism:'''<br/>

{{cowstub}}

''These cows are temporarily protected from milking. Please resolve disputes on the [[Talk:You have two cows|talk page]]. Protection is not intended to express support of [[Germany|German]] or [[Poland|Polish]] cows.''

Some people say you have two [[cow]]s. Others disagree. Some experts state that anyone who denies the existence of your cows is probably smoking too much [[manure]], but others revert them and call them [[Nazi]]s.

== From [[User talk:Theresa knott]] ==

:''This entry is quite lengthy and is available in all its glory at: '''[[Wikipedia:Bride of bad jokes and other deleted nonsense#From User talk:Theresa knott]]'''''

== Meta-Human ==

:''This entry is also quite lengthy and is available in all its meta-glory at: '''[[Wikipedia:Bride of bad jokes and other deleted nonsense#Meta-Human]]'''''

== From [[Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/John Kerry flip-flops|VFD:John Kerry flip-flops]] ==

*'''(Anon comment:)''' Redirect to [[Flip-flop#J-K_flip-flop|J-K flip-flop]], of course.

== From [[Procrastinate]] ==

This article will be written when I'm done doing all the other stuff I have to do first.

== From [[Knowledge management]] ==

A widely accepted 'working definition' of knowledge management applied in worldwide organizations is available from the [http://www.kmnetwork.com/ WWW Virtual Library on Knowledge Management]:

:"Knowledge Management caters to the critical issues of organizational [[adaptation]], [[survival]], and [[competence]] in face of increasingly discontinuous environmental change.... Essentially, it embodies organizational processes that seek synergistic combination of data and [[information processing]] capacity of information technologies, and the creative and innovative capacity of [[human being]]s."

This definition not only gives an indication of what Knowledge Management is, but of how its advocates often treat the English language.

''Once again, truth is a victim of the NPOV... :-) --[[User:JRM|JRM]] 20:34, 2004 Oct 23 (UTC)''

== From [[Homo floresiensis]] ==

=== See Also ===

* [[Ronnie Corbett]] &mdash; thought to be a member of the ''[[Homo sapiens]]'' species.

==Binball==

Binball is a sport, invented by schoolfriends '''Tom Whyman''' and '''Ivan Brett''' when bored with football at school this one time.

Essentially, the sport involves three balls, each similar in weight and size to a basketball, and two bins. There are two teams of fifteen, each with the aim of getting all three balls, at any one time, into their opponent's bin. This constitutes a 'hurley'. At the end of each game (a game lasts nine 'acres', or rounds), the team with the most hurleys win.

Under the Graaf-Becker Ruling (1998), however, hurleymaking is reversed, meaning, in effect, that there are now several ways of poncing a hurley, which are then divided up into different 'locks', or categories. These include:

- The three bin hurley, ie: the traditional hurley, which ponces a full lock.

- The majority hurley, ie: ducking two out of the three balls in the bin, with the pattern: Us-Them-Us, constituting a partial blue lock.

- The reverse hurley, ducking on the pattern them-us-us, reversing their ponce and putting the advantage on you, which obviously ponces a quarter lock, which is either purple or orange, depending on the referee.

- The deadened hurley, tradding the length us-us-them, garnering a pinch at a green tri-lock, following a free shot from navel, providing a clear line at the bin, should you ponce it.

Under the Graaf-Becker Ruling (1998), therefore, the fullest locksmith wins, but only if his colours, when mixed, make a sort of yellowish brown, or else the victor wins. This then rendered all previous scorelines obsolete, thus making semi-professional side Barnsley Town European Champions when the scores were all re-assessed.

The following year (1999), Kazuo Ishigoru, the head of the World Binball Association (WBA) and novelist, famously announced that, "following the announcement of the Graaf-Becker ruling, things have just gotten a bit too silly." The ruling was repealed, the scorelines de-assessed, and Barnsley stripped of their title, much to the dismay of their fan.

Binball's popularity has been on the rise, in this country at least, in recent years, perhaps because of Skysport's ever-popular 'Binball Hour', hosted by Geoffrey Boycott and featuring Just A Minute panelists Gyles Brandreth and Tony Hawks on hand to give their views on the weekend's Binball.

==[[Pillsbury Doughboy]]==

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player.

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including [[Mrs. Butterworth]], the [[California Raisins]], [[Hungry Jack]], [[Aunt Jemima]], [[Betty Crocker]], the [[Hostess Twinkies]], and [[Skippy]].

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. He enjoyed being prodded by his many friends who invariably poked fun at him.

Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

== [[Newton's fundamental ratio]] ==

In a branch of [[applied mathematics]] known as [[operations research]], <b>Newton's fundamental ratio</b> as written in the <i>Principia Combinatorica VI</i> volume expresses the relationship between the positive and negative objects in the [[subjective]] [[perception]] of a single sentient entity.

The ratio in its most primitive form is written as:

:<math>k = \sum_{i=0}^{\infty} p_i : \sum_{i=0}^{\infty} n_i</math>

Newton, after receiving literally hundreds of letters of feedback, estimated that this constant is between 10 and 12 inclusive. Later it was proven that <math>k</math> is a [[transcendental]] number and the latest estimate based on [[elliptic curve]] research shows that <math>k</math> might in fact be equal to <math>11.753584375...</math>

The ratio was later expanded with the development of [[axiomatic set theory]] when it was discovered that if the [[cardinality]] of the set p is [[Aleph_number|aleph-null]] (<math>\aleph_0</math>), then the cardinality of n is at least <math>\aleph_3</math>. However this breaks down in the complex plane [[if and only if|iif]] the the [[slope]] of the real part of all the elements is a [[linear function]].

Two hundred years later [[Goedel]] proposed that the set p could be finitive and possible to calculate for any subject, causing quite an uproar in the mathematical community. However, whatever idea he had died with him in 1978 and no notes remain of it.

== From [[Afterword]] ==

An afterword, worded wordily, is a word that proceeds another word. With only one exception, every word that has ever been spoken can be considered an afterword. Afterword: an afterword is a word that is spoken after another word. Since every word that has ever been spoken with the exception of one word is an afterword, what is really significantly more interesting is an anti-afterword. There has only been, and will only ever be, in the history of the universe, 1 anti-afterword. The really ironic thing about the antiafterword, is that it was arguably 'anti-afterword'. See [[antiafterword]]

''On trying to delete this, the following appeared at [[Talk:Afterword]]:''

WHOEVER SAID THIS IS A CANDIDATE FOR SPEEDY DELETION NEEDS THEIR HEAD READ! IT IS TRUE!!!! DO YOU BELIEN\VE IN THE ANTIAFTWERWORD???????????????????????

== Exploding Wales ==

This was moved from [[Exploding Wales]]:

:[[Image:020904whale 210.jpg|right|framed|[[Dynamite]] being used to explode someone who vandalized [[User:Jimbo Wales]]]]In common terms, '''exploding Wales''' is what you get when you get [[Jimbo Wales]] really, really angry. Despite the evocative terminology, no known casualties or grievous bodily harm has been known to result from such an explosion.

On the talk page, the page creator [[User:JRM]] notes:

:This needs a lot more expansion. Could the people who read the mailinglist please confirm or deny the existence of actual instances of this event, and add references? I expect a lot of enthusiasm for this article, so it might be a candidate for [[Wikipedia:Collaboration of the week]]. [[User:JRM|JRM]] 02:25, 2004 Nov 13 (UTC)

==List of unpopulated professions==

<p>Astro[[linguist]]

<p>Biolinguist

<p>Crypto[[apologist]]

<p>Eco[[mortician]]

<p>Ethnochemical [[engineer]]

<p>Forensic [[paleontologist]]

<p>Geo[[surgeon]]

<p>Hydro[[epistemologist]]

<p>Lunar [[proctologist]]

<p>[[Marine]] [[astronomer]]

<p>Micro[[ethnologist]]

<p>Neuro[[thespian]]

<p>Pediatric [[gerontologist]]

<p>Photo[[biologist]]

<p>Psycho[[spectroscoper]]