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==Short examples I==
===Exercise 1: Teen pop idol ===
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|1=Problem text
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|1=Solution
|2=He was a teen pop idol from '''<font color=reddarkgreen><s>1964–1979</s></font> <font color=darkgreenred>1964 to 1979</font>''', and '''<font color=red><s>since then he</s></font> <font color=darkgreen>has since</font>''' forged a career as an adult contemporary singer.
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===Exercise 2: Canadian politics ===
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|1=Problem text
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===Exercise 3: Welfare state===
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|1=Problem text
|2=The Liberals were generally successful, with the nation prosperous and an increasing welfare state.
[In the article, this comes straight after the previous statement abovein Exercise 2.]
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|1=Hints
|2=*TheIs tense needs fixing ("were"). still the right tense?
*TheWas the nation was an increasing welfare state? That's what it ''could'' be saying—the reader has to think too hard about this.
*The"With" ''withas plusa noun plus -ing'' construction, whichconnector is usuallyoften awkward.
*Do you ''increase'' a welfare state?
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|1=Possible solution
|2=The Liberals <font color=reddarkgreen>'''<s>were generally</s></font><font color=red> had generally been'''</font> generally successful<font color=reddarkgreen>''': during their period in office, the nation had prospered and had managed to buildbuilt a stronger'''</font> welfare state.
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|1=Explanation
|2=The welfare state bit is only one way of wordingclarifying it.
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===Exercise 4: Committee grows tired of chairman===
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|1=Problem text
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|1=Explanation
|2=The comma clarifies that he was "Congressman" isfor 31 years, not athe subsetchair of manythe people who were Congressmencommittee for 31 years: it's him alone. The previous commas are now rearranged.
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===Exercise 5: South Korean army===
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|1=Problem text
|2=The smaller South Korean army suffered from widespread lack of organizationorganisation and equipment, and it was unprepared for war.
[This could be improved in two ways.]
[There are two ways this could be improved]
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|1=What are these two issues?
|2=*(i) An article is required (articles, or "deictics", are "a", "an", andor "the").
*(ii) What does "it" refer back to?
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|1=Solution
|2=The smaller South Korean army suffered from <font color=reddarkgreen>'''a'''</font> widespread lack of organizationorganisation and equipment, and <font color=red>'''<s>it</s>'''</font> was unprepared for war.
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|1=Explanation
|2=*(i) Avoid "''telegram language"'': one rule of thumb is ''If there's an "''of"'' to the right, useof a "[[noun]], use ''the"'' [(or "''a"'' or "''an"]'') to the left''"; it usually works.
*(ii) There should be no doubt what a back-reference, such as "it" and "this" refers to. It doesn't matter that a careful reading tells the reader that "it" refers to the compound noun "the smaller South Korean army"; there's are otheranother singular nounsnoun—also ina thecompound sentence. Here, simply dropping thenoun ("it"widespread altogetherlack makesof sense,organisation becauseand equipment"). "The smaller South Korean army" is clearly the overall subject of the sentence, so make this subject work for both parts of the sentence. Again, it's achieved by ''not'' saying it twice, forcing the reader to silently insert it (ellipsis).
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===Exercise 6: David Bellamy===
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|1=Problem text
|2=A protest group was formed to resist the proposed construction, which attracted support from the botanist and environmental campaigner David Bellamy.
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|1=Hint 1
|2=TheWhat's the relationship between the clauses. (separated by the comma)? Which part of the first clause does the second clause refer back to?}}
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|1=Hint 2
|2=So the proposed construction attracted support from Bellamy? The statementintended meaning is probably means something very different.
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|1=Solution
|2=A protest group was formed to resist the proposed construction, <font color=darkgreen>'''<s>which</s>'''</font> <font color=darkgreen>'''and'''</font> attracted support from the botanist and environmental campaigner David Bellamy.
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|1=Explanation
|2=Now it's clear that ''the protest group'' attracted Bellamy's support, not ''the construction the protest was targeted at. Occasionally, you may need to ask the writer whether your hunch is right when you have to fix the relationship between clauses, but usually it's obvious'.
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