User talk:Tony1/Advanced editing exercises: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 04:27, 5 June 2013

Revision as of 04:27, 5 June 2013

Line 149:

The (revised) sentence reads:

{{Quote|Since Brazil's relations with Argentina were warming and the country's economic boom was losing steam, the government negotiated with Armstrong to remove the third dreadnought from the contract.}}

Out of context, it's unclear to me whether 'the county' and 'the government' refer to Brazil or Argentina.

Line 155:

I wonder if something like this would be more clear:

{{Quote|While Brazil's economy was losing steam, its relations with Argentina were warming. This led the Brazilian government to request that Armstrong remove the third dreadnought from the contract.}}

I'm sure you can improve on what I've written, but I hope my point is clear. :) [[User:SashaMarievskaya|SashaMarievskaya]] ([[User talk:SashaMarievskaya|talk]]) 04:27, 5 June 2013 (UTC)