User:Tony1/Exercises in textual flow: Difference between revisions

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===Exercise 2: sentence length===

Each of these sentences is too long. DecideTypically, the author has tried to cram too many related ideas into the sentence. In each exercise, identify these ideas, and decide where and how you'd split up each ofthe themsentence for easier reading.

QUESTION A:

However, ardent debate between political factions known as the Federalists and anti-Federalists ensued over the balance between strengthening the nation's government and weakening the rights of the people who 10 years earlier had explicitly rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England.

QUESTION B:

The need for a stronger central government with a unified currency and the ability to conduct the affairs of state, such as foreign policy (and that could bind all of the states under negotiated treaties and agreements rather than be undermined by a single state's refusal to complyagree withto an international treaty) led to the stronger Federalfederal government adoptedthat bywas compromisenegotiated at the Convention.

One sentence of 64 words.

The delegates identified the need for a stronger central government with a unified currency and the ability to conduct the affairs of state. In particular, they saw federal control of foreign policy as a way of binding all of the states under negotiated treaties and agreements; until then, foreign policy was frequently undermined by a single state's refusal to agree to an international treaty. This led to the negotiation of a stronger federal government at the Convention.

Four equivalent sentences, of a total of 77 words: 23 + 23 + 18 + 13.