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*{{!xt |...wherin the player advances through scenes...}} to {{xt |...wherein the player advances through scenes...}}
:*Done
*{{!xt |The science fiction chapters of the story follow the explorer as she journeys towards Planet X,}} to {{xt |The science fiction chapters of the story follows the explorer, Doctor Cassiopeia, as she journeys towards Planet X,}}
:*[chapters...follow], not follows, and we named the explorer only the paragraph before; I'll replace "the explorer" with "Doctor Cassiopeia" instead
*{{!xt |...returning to her home town in Achill Island...}} to {{xt |...returning to her hometown in Achill Island...}}
:*Fixed both instances of "home town"
*{{!xt |...her older brother Fergal and mother Brid,}} to {{xt |...her older brother Fergal and her mother Brid,}}
:*Done
*{{!xt |After a fight with her mother over her feminine clothes...}} to {{xt |After a fight with her mother over Kasio's feminine clothes...}}
:*Done
*{{!xt |...abandoned, decrepit house they are squatting in.}} to {{xt |...abandoned, decrepit house that the band is squatting in.}}
:*Done
*{{!xt |...through a hole in the abandoned house's roof; the next morning,}} to {{xt |...through a hole in the abandoned house's roof. The next morning,}}
:*Done
*{{!xt |...Shans informs Kasio that she agreed to run away together to Dublin as a couple.}} to {{xt |...Shans informs Kasio that he wants him and Kasio to run away together to Dublin as a couple.}}
:*Not done, this changes the sentence- Shans isn't telling her that he wants them to run away together, he's telling her that Kasio already agreed to that the night before, she just doesn't remember because she was drunk. Changed to "that she had agreed" to clarify.
*{{!xt |...despite Colum and Jack's upset with Kasio.}} to {{xt |...despite Colum and Jack being upset with Kasio.}}
:*Done
*{{!xt |...unworthiness to stay with Maggy, and rejected by Shans who tells her...}} to {{xt |...unworthiness to stay with Maggy, and from being rejected by Shans, who tells her...}}
:*There's still some verb tense misuse here, but the real problem is that it's like 3 clauses jammed together. Split up into "Kasio feels distraught by her estrangement from her family and unworthy to stay with Maggy. She is rejected by Shans, who tells her he wants to be "normal", and Kasio breaks into the abandoned house again."
*{{!xt |...and put it in the letter box for a woman...}} to {{xt |...and put it in the letterbox for a woman...}}
:*Done
*{{!xt |...by Irish developer Dreamfeel; studio director Llaura McGee was...}} to {{xt |...by Irish developer Dreamfeel. Studio director Llaura McGee was...}}
:*Done
*{{xt |It was published by Annapurna Interactive and released for Microsoft Windows, macOS, and iOS devices on May 19, 2020, and for the Nintendo Switch on October 22, 2020.[1][3][4]}} should preferably be put at the end of the development section.
:*Mostly moved; I'm leaving the mention of Annapurna because they're referenced a paragraph later.
*{{!xt |...Initial development on the game began in 2016; McGee sent a proposed design...}} to {{xt |...Initial development on the game began in 2016. McGee sent a proposed design...}}
:*Done
*{{!xt |...dark hole within Kasio preventing her from having relationships, or missing altogether.}} to {{xt |...dark hole within Kasio preventing her from having relationships, or missing the relationships altogether.}}
:*Done
I believe that's it. Hope you get to correcting them. [[User:Lazman321|Lazman321]] ([[User talk:Lazman321|talk]]) 13:51, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
:{{re|Lazman321}} All done, thanks for reviewing! We clearly have a difference of opinion on semicolons... --'''[[User:PresN|<span style="color:green">Pres</span>]][[User talk:PresN|<span style="color:blue">N</span>]]''' 15:52, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
====b - Adherence to the Manual of Style====
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