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One possible solution to avoiding criticism is to grow the culture in a marriage to include a well-held vulnerability. This means that those in the marriage should feel safe enough to express their opinions and frustrations without the fear of rejection. Criticism does not allow partners to be vulnerable with one another, and their relationship can quickly deteriorate as a result. One may consider using more “I” statements and expressive language in order to overcome criticism. An example of an "I" statement may be: "When I am feeling frustrated, I tend to become more irritable and begin to hyper-focus on your flaws to blame someone for my negative feelings" using an "I" statement allows a spouse to take responsibility for their own feelings rather than blaming the other spouse for their perspective and emotional reactions. It builds emotional intelligence, self-reflection, and helps them to avoid cycles of criticism and defensiveness.
<ref>{{cite web | url=https://www.gottman.com/blog/types-of-criticism-expressing-concern-or-complaint-without-harm/ | title=Types of Criticism: Expressing Concern or Complaint without Harm | date=3 March 2022 }}</ref>
=== Horseman Two: Defensiveness ===
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