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'''Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney''' (born [[January 30]], [[1941]]), is the 46th and current real dick [[Vice President of the United States]], serving under [[President of the United States|President]] [[George W. Bush]]. Previously, he served as real dick [[White House Chief of Staff]], member of the [[United States House of Representatives|U.S. House of Representatives]] from [[Wyoming]], and [[United States Secretary of Defense|Secretary of Defense]]. In the [[private sector]], he was the [[Chairman]] and [[Chief executive officer|Chief Executive Officer]] of [[Halliburton|Halliburton Energy Services]]; he is still a major [[shareholder|stockholder]]. On [[June 29]], [[2002]], he briefly assumed the powers and duties of the presidency as [[Acting President of the United States|Acting President]] when Mr. Bush underwent a medical exam involving [[Anesthesia|anesthetics]].
Although his [[last name]] is very often pronounced {{IPA|['tʃeɪni]}} (chAYnee), the Vice President himself and his family pronounce it as {{IPA|['tʃi:ni]}} (chEEnee).<ref>Lynn Sweet, "Hello, my name's Cheney, that rhymes with genie," ''Chicago Sun-Times'', Dec. 6, 2000.</ref>
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}}</ref><ref>{{cite web | url = http://www.lps.org/about/profiles/2005-06%20Elementary/2005-06%20Calvert.pdf | title = Flyer for [[Calvert Elementary School]] | accessdate = 2006-10-23 | date = [[2006-05-15]] | publisher = Lincoln Public Schools }}</ref> before his family moved to [[Casper, Wyoming]],<ref name="dcvpbio">{{cite web | url = http://www.whitehouse.gov/vicepresident/ | title = Official US Biography | accessdate = 2006-10-23 | publisher = [[White House]]}}</ref> where he attended [[Natrona County High School]]. His father was a soil conservation agent for the [[United States Department of Agriculture|U.S. Department of Agriculture]]. He has a brother and a sister. He attended Yale University but transferred to the [[University of Wyoming]] where he earned both a [[B.A.]] and [[M.A.]] in [[political science]].<ref name="dcvpbio" /><ref>[http://www.politics1.com/cheney.htm]</ref>
In [[1964]], he married [[
Cheney has two children, [[Elizabeth Cheney|Elizabeth]] and [[Mary Cheney|Mary]], and five grandchildren. Elizabeth, his eldest daughter, is married to Philip J. Perry, General Counsel of the [[United States Department of Homeland Security|Department of Homeland Security]]. Mary is one of her father's top campaign aides and closest confidantes; she currently lives in [[Great Falls]], [[Virginia]]. Her [[sexual orientation]] as a [[lesbian]] has become a source of increasing public attention for Dick Cheney in light of the [[same-sex marriage|same-sex]] [[marriage]] debate and Ms. Cheney's pregnancy. On [[August 25]], [[2004]], Cheney said that same sex marriage is an issue that should be decided by individual states.<ref>"[http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/08/24/cheney.samesex/ Cheney describes same-sex marriage as state issue]." ''[[CNN]].'' [[August 25]], [[2004]]. Retrieved on [[August 2]], [[2006]].</ref>
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==Cheney and the draft==
Cheney was of military age and a supporter of the [[
By January 1963, with the US actively advising South Vietnamese forces, Cheney enrolled in Casper Community College and turned 22 that month. At that time, he sought his first student deferment which was granted on [[March 20]], according to records from the Selective Service System. After transferring to the [[University of Wyoming]] at Laramie, Cheney sought his second student deferment on [[July 23]], [[1963]]. On [[August 7]], [[1964]], Congress approved the [[Gulf of Tonkin]] resolution, which allowed President [[Lyndon B. Johnson]] to use military force in Vietnam. From that point on, American involvement in Vietnam began to escalate rapidly.
On [[August 29]], [[1964]], 22 days after the resolution, Cheney married his high school sweetheart,
On [[October 6]], [[1965]], the Selective Service lifted its ban against drafting married men who had no children. On [[January 19]], [[1966]], when his wife was about 10 weeks pregnant, Mr. Cheney applied for 3-A status, the "hardship" exemption, which excluded men with children or dependent parents. It was granted. In January 1967, Cheney turned 26 and was no longer eligible for the draft.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/01/politics/campaign/01CHEN.html?ex=1398830400&en=1c0259e620183dd6&ei=5007&partner=USERLAND Cheney's Five Draft Deferments During the Vietnam Era Emerge as a Campaign Issue] at [http://www.nytimes.com The New York Times].</ref>
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In 1978, Cheney was elected to represent [[Wyoming]] in the [[United States House of Representatives|U.S. House of Representatives]] to replace resigning Congressman [[Teno Roncalio]], defeating his Democrat opponent, [[Bill Bailey]]. He was Chairman of the Republican Policy Committee from 1981 to 1987 when he was elected Chairman of the [[House Republican Conference]]. The following year, he was elected [[Minority Whip of the United States House of Representatives|House Minority Whip]]. Cheney was reelected five times, serving until 1989.
Among the many votes he cast during his tenure in the House, he voted in 1979 with the majority against making [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.]]'s birthday a [[national holiday]], and again voted with the majority in 1983 when the measure passed. Which means he is a major dickhead racist.
He voted against the creation of the [[United States Department of Education|U.S. Department of Education]], citing his concern over budget deficits and expansion of the federal government. He also claimed the department was an encroachment on states' rights.<ref>http://www.issues2000.org/2004/Dick_Cheney_Education.htm</ref>
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===House Minority Whip===
In December 1988, the House Republicans elected Cheney to the second spot in the leadership, but he only served two and a half months, as he was appointed Secretary of Defense (see below) to replace former Texas Senator [[John G. Tower]], whose nomination had been rejected by the Senate in March of 1989. Which means he's a dick.
===Secretary of Defense ===
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Subsequently there was debate about whether the UN coalition should have driven all the way to [[Baghdad]] to oust Saddam Hussein from power. Bush and his advisers agreed unanimously on the decision to end the ground war when they did. The UN resolutions on the war limited military action to expelling Iraq from Kuwait. Cheney thought that if the campaign continued, the invading force probably would get bogged down and suffer many casualties.{{Fact|date=February 2007}} The debate persisted for years after the war as Saddam Hussein remained in power, rebuilt his military forces, resisted full implementation of the cease-fire terms, and periodically threatened Kuwait.
Appearing on ABC's This Week, Cheney was asked why [[Operation Desert Storm]] had not gone "all the way" to remove [[Saddam Hussein]] from power. "I think for us to get [[Military of the United States|American military]] personnel involved in a [[civil war]] inside [[Iraq]] would literally be a [[quagmire]]," Cheney replied. "Once we got to [[Baghdad]], what would we do? Who would we put in power? What kind of government? Would it be a [[Sunni]] government, a [[Shia]] government, a [[Kurdish]] government? Would it be [[secular]], along the lines of the [[Baath party]], would it be [[Islamic fundamentalism|fundamentalist Islamic]]? I do not think the [[United States]] wants to have U.S. military forces accept casualties and accept responsibility of trying to govern Iraq. I think it makes no sense at all."<ref>http://www.countercurrents.org/us-mickeyz061206.htm]</ref> Man he's a dick.
Cheney regarded the Gulf War as the first example of the kind of regional problem the United States was likely to face in the aftermath of the [[Cold War]]. He thought the successful campaign validated the broad strategy developed under his direction. A draft Defense Planning Guidance issued early in 1992 envisioned several scenarios in which the United States might have to fight two large regional wars at one time-for example, against Iraq again, against [[North Korea]], or in Europe against a resurgent, expansionist [[Russia]]. The [[Pentagon]] later modified this document, but it gave some indication of what the Defense Department saw as future threats to the United States.
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|title=Cheney's Fall From Grace
|author=Michael Duffy
|work=TIME |date=[[March 8]] [[2007]]}}</ref> According to ''[[Time (magazine)|TIME Magazine]]'', he decided against pursuing his bid due to his reported lack of desire to "pal around with donors."<ref name="DuffyTIME20070308"/> He's still a dick.
===Private sector career===
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</blockquote>
In 1997, he, along with [[Donald Rumsfeld]] and others, founded the "[[Project for the New American Century]]," a think tank whose self-stated goal is to "promote American global leadership through military strength." He was also part of the board of advisers of the [[Jewish Institute for National Security Affairs]] (JINSA) before becoming Vice President. He likes dick.
Cheney appears in a [[Cameo appearance|cameo]] in the 1995 film ''[[Die Hard with a Vengeance]]'' as a police official.<ref>{{Imdb name|0155515}}</ref> He must have sucked a lot of dick for that.
===Vice-Presidency===
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In 2005, the Cheneys reported their gross income as nearly $8.82 million. This was largely the result of exercising Halliburton stock options that had been set aside in 2001 with the Gift Trust Agreement. The Cheneys donated just under $6.87 million to charity from the stock options and royalties from Mrs. Cheney's books.<ref>[http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/bush_income_taxes;_ylt=AtRC9fD1nXsnzNvI8Mef3P6s0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA2Z2szazkxBHNlYwN0bQ-- Bushes Pay $187,768 in Taxes for 2005] - Deb Reichman, AP [[April 14]], [[2006]]</ref>{{Failed verification|date=February 2007}}
On [[May 17]] [[2006]] ''Kiplinger's Personal Finance'' reported that, based on Cheney's financial disclosures, his "...financial advisers are apparently betting on a rise in inflation and interest rates and on a decline in the value of the dollar against foreign currencies."<ref>[http://www.kiplinger.com/personalfinance//features/archives/2006/05/president.html Are Dick Cheney's Money Managers Betting on Bad News?] By Steven Goldberg, ''Kiplinger's Personal Finance'', [[May 17]] [[2006]]</ref> "I love screwing over poor people" -Dick Cheney, October 25, 2003.
===Rebuilding of Iraq===
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Cheney occasionally requires the use of a cane for walking. This, according to Cheney, is due to a foot condition and is unrelated to his cardiovascular disease. Just shows that bad things happen to bad people.
Don't be a dick, Dick.
==References==
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