User:Tony1/Exercises in textual flow: Difference between revisions

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m Fixed coloring. (Hard!) There is still more to do.
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<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION A<br/>Gregorian chant is the best-known repertory of plainchant, a form of monophonic, <br/>unaccompanied sacred song, which was developed in the Catholic Church, mainly in <br/>the Frankish lands during the ninth and tenth centuries, with later additions and redactions.</font>
 
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*However, being singular, “this” could refer back to any of the four singular items in the first <br/>sentence: “Gregorian chant”, “best-known repertory”, “plainchant”, or “a form of monophonic, <br/>unaccompanied sacred song”. That would be fuzzy.
*To make it clear, you’ll probably need to restate one of these items at the start of your new sentence.
<br/><b><font color=midnightblue>Gregorian chant is the best-known repertory of plainchant, a form of monophonic, <br/>unaccompanied sacred so</font><font color=crimson>ng, which</font>
<font color=midnightblue> was developed in the Catholic Church, mainly in <br/>the Frankish lands during the ninth and tenth centuries, with later additions and redactions.</font>
 
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<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION </font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;"><b><font color=green>Gregorian chant is the best-known repertory of plainchant, a form of monophonic, <br/>unaccompanied sacred so</font><font color=crimson>ng. Plainchant</font><font color=green> was developed in the Catholic Church, mainly in <br/>
the Frankish lands during the ninth and tenth centuries, with later additions and redactions.</font></b>
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<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION B<br/>However, ardent debate ensued between political factions known as the Federalists <br/>and anti-Federalists over the balance between strengthening the nation’s <br/>government and weakening the rights of the people who just 10 years earlier had <br/> rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England, particularly his <br/>unwillingness to change the taxation regime.</font>
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<b>HINT<br/></b></b>
*Here, again, you’ll need to tweak the grammar and repeat an item in the new sentence, <br/>preferably not straight after the previous occurrence.
 
<br/><b><font color=midnightblue>However, ardent debate ensued between political factions known as the Federalists <br/>and anti-Federalists over the balance between strengthening the nation’s <br/>government and weakening the rights of the </font><font color=crimson>people who</font>
<font color=midnightblue> just 10 years earlier had <br/>rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England, particularly his <br/>unwillingness to change the taxation regime.</font></b>
 
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<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION </font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;"><b><font color=green>However, ardent debate ensued between political factions known as the Federalists <br/>and anti-Federalists over the balance between strengthening the nation’s government <br/>and weakening the rights of the peopl</font><font color=crimson>e. J</font><font color=green>ust 10 years earlier</font><font color=crimson>, the same people</font><font color=green> had <br/>rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England, particularly his <br/>unwillingness to change the taxation regime.</bfont></b>
 
*We inserted "same" ("the same people") to retain the writer's emphasis.
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<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION C<br/>As such, the comic strip holds a unique place in British football folklore, demonstrated <br/>most clearly by the phrase “real Roy of the Rovers stuff”, which is typically used <br/>by football writers and commentators to describe displays of great skill or results <br/>that go against the odds, as a reference to the dramatic storylines that became <br/>the trademark of the comic strip.</font>
 
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<b>HINT<br/></b></b>
*This is long enough to split in several ways; our solution is just one.
*We opted to repeat the main item ("the phrase") some way into the second <br/>sentence. See if you can work out where.
 
<b><font color=midnightblue>As such, the comic strip holds a unique place in British football folklore, demonstrated <br/>most clearly by the phrase “real Roy of the Rovers stuf</font><font color=crimson>f”, which is</font><font color=midnightblue> typically used <br/>by football writers and commentators to describe displays of great skill or results <br/>that go against the odds, as a reference to the dramatic storylines that became <br/>the trademark of the comic strip.</font></b>
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<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION </font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;"><b><font color=darkgreen>As such, the comic strip holds a unique place in British football folklore, demonstrated <br/>most clearly by the phrase “real Roy of the Rovers stuf<font color=crimson>f”. Ty</font>pically used by <br/>football writers and commentators to describe displays of great skill or results <br/>that go against the odds, </font><font color=crimson>the phrase</font><font color=darkgreen> is a reference to the dramatic storylines <br/>that became the trademark of the comic strip.</bfont></b>
 
*Like "the same people" in the previous exercise, the key back-reference here <br/>("the phrase") is in the middle of the second sentence. This sometimes works well.
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<font color=midnightblue>QUESTION D<br/>Originally developed for racing cars to prevent the foaming of the engine oil <br/>by the crankshaft, which created a serious drop in oil pressure, the system <br/>circulated 12 litres of oil between the storage tank—mounted inside the <br/>right-front fender—and the engine, as opposed to the usual four or five litres <br/>that circulated in V8s with a standard oil pan and pump.</font>
 
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<font color=darkgreen>SOLUTION </font></div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;"><b><font color=crimson>The system was</font><font color=darkgreen> originally developed for racing cars to prevent the foaming <br/>of the engine oil by the crankshaft, which created a serious drop in oil <br/>pressu</font><font color=crimson>re. T</font><font color=darkgreen>he system circulated 12 litres of oil between the storage tank—mounted <br/>inside the right-front fender—and the engine, as opposed to the usual four or five <br/>litres that circulated in V8s with a standard oil pan and pump.</bfont></b>
 
*You might consider avoiding the repetition of the subject ("the system") by using a semicolon <br/>at the same boundary, instead of a full-stop. The magic of a semicolon is that you can use <br/>"it" to refer right back to the start of the statement.
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The text would then look something like this:
<br/><b><font color=darkgreen>The system was originally developed for racing cars to prevent the foaming <br/>of the engine oil by the crankshaft, which created a serious drop in oil <br/>pressu</font><font color=crimson>re; it</font><font color=darkgreen> circulated 12 litres of oil between the storage tank—mounted inside<br/> the right-front fender—and the engi</font><font color=crimson>ne. This compared favourably with</font><font color=darkgreen> the usual four or five litres <br/> that circulated in V8s with a standard oil pan and pump.</font></b>
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