Cascade Model of Relational Dissolution: Difference between revisions

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They found that those couples who ended up separating had the following attributes<ref>{{Cite web|last=Thornton|first=Jesse|date=2017-08-29|title=Why Couples Divorce: Six Predictors|url=https://foundationsfamily.com/couples-divorce-six-predictors/|access-date=2020-12-09|website=Foundations Family Counseling|language=en-US|archive-date=2021-05-16|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210516124632/https://foundationsfamily.com/couples-divorce-six-predictors/|url-status=dead}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web|date=2018-12-09|title=6 Predictors of Divorce|url=https://fathers.com.sg/6-predictors-of-divorce/|access-date=2020-12-09|website=Centre for Fathering Ltd|language=en-GB}}</ref> in their marriage:

* ''Harsh Startup:'' inIn arguments or disagreements, those couples who participated in harsh startups were those who begin an argument with great aggression, refused to see another's point of view, or brought issues up at inappropriate times.

* ''The Four Horsemen:'' as above.

* ''[[Emotional flooding|Emotional Flooding]]:'' thisThis condition occurs when one partner feels overwhelmed ,and their brain begins to protect itself by shutting down. They physically and mentally cannot process any more what the other is saying. This may lead to the person who is not flooded to think the flooded person is not listening or does not care, when in fact, their system has been overwhelmed. This may occur when one partner brings up a controversial topic or points out many flaws in another in a short period of time.

* ''[[Body language|Body Language]]:'' whetherWhether the couple is sending mixed messages, participating in a double-bind kind of thinking, or sending hostile nonverbal cues, destruction occurs.

* ''Repair Attempts that were not accepted'': aA repair attempt is anything that one partner does to trytries to bring the relationship back into control. This could be [[de-escalation]] tactics, bringing up something about which you both stand on common ground about, or even an inside joke. These attempts, when accepted and acted upon, encourage intimacy and affection in a marriage and allow the situation to deescalate. Those who do not participate in this tactic will have a greater likelihood of an argument or fight escalating out of control.

* ''A Negative View on their marriage and their overall happiness together:'' Gottman found that those in the study who ended up divorcing or having low marital satisfaction thought about landmarks in their marriages as negative. The landmark moments that most people think of with fondness, such as their engagement, wedding, reception, birth of a child, etc., were almost all met with criticism from those in unhappy marriages. These people had trained their brain<ref>{{Cite web|title=Marriage and Couples - Research|url=https://www.gottman.com/about/research/couples/|access-date=2020-12-09|website=The Gottman Institute|language=en-US}}</ref> that their partner had never met their needs, and there had never been happiness in their relationship.

* ''[[Belligerent|Belligerence]]'': Bad couples will sometimes try to provoke the other party with statements like "You think you're tough? Then do it!"<ref name="The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work">{{cite book |last1=PhD |first1=John Gottman |last2=Silver |first2=Nan |title=The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert |date=5 May 2015 |___location=New York |isbn=9780553447712}}</ref>