User:Tony1/Advanced editing exercises: Difference between revisions

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<b><font color=black>QUESTION 1: Agriculture continues to be a major part of the economy of Somerset. Apple orchards <br/>were once plentiful, and to this day the county is linked to the production of strong cider. The unemployment rate in the county is lower than the surrounding counties. The largest employment sectors are retail, manufacturing, leisure/tourism and health/social care.

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<font color=black>SOLUTION 1: Agriculture continues to be a major part of the economy of Somerset. Apple orchards <br/><font color=red><s> were once plentiful</s><font color=brown> have been plentiful for more than five centuries,<font color=black> and to this day the county is <font color=reddarkgreen><s>linked to</s> <font color=brown>known for<font color=black> the production of strong cider. The unemployment rate in the county is lower than <font color=brownpurple>that of<font color=black> the surrounding counties. The largest employment sectors are retail, manufacturing, <font color=redchocolate><s>leisure/tourism</s> <font color=brown>leisure and tourism<font color=black><font color=brown>, <font color=black>and <font color=redchocolate><s>health/social care</s> <font color=brown>health and social care<font color=black>.</b><font color=black>

*<font color=red>'''The problem of logic and of vagueness:'''<font color=black> "Once" suggests that the orchards were plentiful at some time in the past and are no longer so; but the subsequent clause implies that plentiful orchards have ever since been and still are plentiful, since the county is known for its apple cider. An indication is required of when "in the past" this was, even if as vague as "for at least five centuries". We have guessed a solution; the author would need to be asked to check this. <font color=black>

*<font color=darkgreen>'''The wrong lexical item:''' <font color=black>"Linked to" is ambiguous; "known for" is presumably what the author intended. <font color=black>

*<font color=purple>'''The false comparison:''' <font color=black>The unemployment rate in Somerset is being compared with the unemployment rate in the surrounding counties, not with the counties themselves; "that of" can be inserted to stand for "the unemployment rate of" those other counties; then the comparison is valid.<font color=black>

*<font color=chocolate>'''The MOS breach:'''<font color=black> Slashes are [[Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style#Slashes|usually avoided]].

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===Exercise 2===