User:Tony1/Advanced editing exercises: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 12:12, 6 December 2007

Revision as of 12:48, 6 December 2007

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<b><font color=black>QUESTION 2a: Jane Zhang (born 11 October 1984) also known as Zhang Liangying is <br/>a Chinese pop singer who came to prominence when she placed third in the 2005 season of the [[Super Girl (contest)|Super Girl contest]] a national all female singing competition held in the People's Republic of China. Throughout the competition, she sang in English, Spanish and [[Cantonese (linguistics)|Cantonese]] in addition to [[Standard Mandarin|Mandarin Chinese]].

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<font color=black>There are seven issues.</div>

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<font color=black>ThereThe seven issues are fiveas issuesfollows.

*A word that is probably redundant.

*Insufficient commas (three could be added).

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<font color=black>QUESTION 2a: Jane Zhang (born 11 October 1984<font color=red>) a<font color=black>lso known as Zhang <br/>Liangyin<font color=red>g i<font color=black>s <br/>a Chinese pop singer who came to prominence when <font color=red>she placed <font color=black>third in the 2005 season of the [[Super Girl (contest)|Super Girl]] <font color=red>contest a<font color=black> national <font color=red>all female<font color=black> singing competition <font color=red>held<font color=black> in the People's Republic of China. <font color=red>Throughout<font color=black> the competition, she sang in English, Spanish and [[Cantonese (linguistics)|Cantonese]] in addition to [[Standard Mandarin|Mandarin]] <font color=red>Chinese<font color=black>.

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<font color=black>SOLUTION 2a: Jane Zhang (born 11 October 1984)<font color=red>, <font color=black>also known as Zhang <br/>Liangying<font color=red>, <font color=black>is <br/>a Chinese pop singer who came to prominence when she <font color=dimgray>was placed <font color=black>third in the 2005 season of the Super Girl <font color=darkgreen>Contest<font color=black><font color=red>, <font color=black>a national <font color=purple>all-female<font color=black> singing competition <font color=chocolate><s>held</s><font color=black> in the People's Republic of China. <font color=teal>ThroughoutDuring<font color=black> the competition, she sang in English, Spanish and [[Cantonese (linguistics)|Cantonese]] in addition to [[Standard Mandarin|Mandarin]] <font color=redmaroon><s>Chinese</s><font color=black>.

*<font color=red>'''Three commas''' <font color=black>are required: the first two are boundaries for a ''nested'' phrase ("also known as hang Liangying"); the third is an "equative" comma, used instead of "which is".

*<font color=dimgray>'''The verb "placedPlaced"''' <font color=black>iscan't transitiverefer to what she does, but what is useddone wronglyto inher; activethe passive voice must be used (font color=dimgray>"was placed"<font color=black>).

*<font color=purple>'''A hyphen''' <font color=black>is required for <font color=purple>"all-female"<font color=black>, which is a double adjective. This is the case even in AmEng.

*<font color=darkgreen>'''An upper-case "C"''' <font color=black>is required, for <font color=darkgreen>"Contest"<font color=black>, since it's part of the title of the competition; this can be confirmed at the linked article.

*<font color=tealchocolate>'''Throughout"Held"''' <font color=black> is ahardly necessary, since all competitions are held, and we're told its country of ___location.

*<font color=teal>'''"Throughout"'''<font color=black> may imply that she sang from start to finish in a mixture of all four languages; while this is an unlikely meaning, it would clearer to use <font color=teal>"during"<font color=black>, which doesn't carry the same start-to-finish meaning.

*<font color=maroon>'''"Chinese"''' <font color=black>is used to qualify "Mandarin", but not "Cantonese"; however, both are Chinese languages. It's probably acceptable to remove <font color=maroon>"Chinese" <font color=black>altogether, since China is central to the topic and both languages were linked.

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Jane Zhang also known as Zhang Liangying (born 11 October 1984) is a Chinese pop singer who came to prominence when she placed third in the 2005 season of the [[Super Girl (contest)|Super Girl contest]], a national all-female singing competition held in the People's Republic of China. Throughout the competition, she sang in English, Spanish and Cantonese in addition to [[Standard Mandarin|Mandarin Chinese]].

She was given the nickname "The Dolphin Princess" during the competition due to her ability to sing the [[whistle register]]. They had given her this nickname because Chinese musicians refer to the whistle register as the dolphin vocal sound due to the similarities between the pitch of the dolphin and the whistle register.