Content deleted Content added
No edit summary |
No edit summary |
||
Line 1:
[[Image:Gabriel Metsu - Man Writing a Letter.JPG|thumb|right|260px|''Man writing a letter'' (1662–65), oil on canvas, by Flemish painter [[Gabriel Metsu]]; National Gallery of Ireland, Dublin]]Skilled editing is central to achieving high-quality Wikipedia articles. This is a set of exercises in which you are presented with a portion of faulty text. It may contain problems of grammar, logic, cohesion, tone, lexical choice, punctuation or redundant wording. In some cases, there are breaches of Wikipedia's [[Manual of Style|Manual of style]]. What is difficult about these exercises is that they do not concentrate on one specific aspect of writing or editing, as do [[User:Tony1/How_to_satisfy_Criterion_1a:_redundancy_exercises|our exercises in redundant wording]]. Here, you need to be aware of all of the things that can go wrong when English text is constructed.
Feedback on how to improve these exercises is welcome on the talk page.▼
'''[[User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a|Return to the original article]]'''▼
===Instructions===
#First, read the text carefully and try to determine where and how it can be improved.
#Click on <font color=darkblue>[Show]</font> at the right and you'll see how ''many'' issues there are in the text.
Line 8 ⟶ 13:
The examples are all taken from featured article candidates. We've removed reference numbers to prevent clutter. Links appear only in the initial text of each exercise, because subsequently we use specific colour coding that would be cluttered by the blue colouring of links.
▲Feedback on how to improve these exercises is welcome on the talk page.
▲'''[[User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a|Return to the original article]]'''
===Exercise 1===
Line 18 ⟶ 19:
<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame">
<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:9em; font-size:100%;">
<font color=black>
</div>
<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;">
Line 43 ⟶ 44:
</div>
<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;">
<font color=black>
</div>
</div>
Line 52 ⟶ 53:
</div>
<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;">
<font color=black>
*<font color=red>'''The problem of logic and of vagueness:'''<font color=black> "Once" suggests that the orchards were plentiful at some time in the past and are no longer so; but the subsequent clause implies that plentiful orchards have ever since been and still are plentiful, since the county is known for its apple cider. An indication is required of when "in the past" this was, even if as vague as "for at least five centuries". We have guessed a solution; the author would need to be asked to check this. <font color=black>
Line 64 ⟶ 65:
This is taken from the FA candidate [[Jane Zhang]]. We've removed the Chinese characters for the sake of simplicity. The three paragraphs in the lead are treated in Exercises 2a, 2b, and 2c, respectively.
====Exercise 2a====
<div style="clear:both;" class="NavFrame">
<div class="NavHead" style="text-align:left; height:11em; font-size:100%;">
Line 93 ⟶ 95:
</div>
<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;">
<font color=black>
</div>
</div>
Line 102 ⟶ 104:
</div>
<div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;">
<font color=black>
*<font color=red>'''Three commas''' <font color=black>are required: the first two are boundaries for a ''nested'' phrase ("also known as
*<font color=dimgray>'''"Placed"''' <font color=black>can't refer to what she does, but what is done to her; the passive voice must be used (<font color=dimgray>''"was placed"''<font color=black>).
*<font color=purple>'''A hyphen''' <font color=black>is required for <font color=purple>''"all-female"''<font color=black>, which is a double adjective. This is the case even in AmEng. See [[Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style#Hyphens|MOS on hyphens]].
*<font color=darkgreen>'''An upper-case "C"''' <font color=black>is required, for <font color=darkgreen>''"Contest"''<font color=black>, since it's part of the title of the competition; this can be confirmed at the linked article.
*<font color=chocolate>'''"Held"''' <font color=black>is hardly necessary, since all competitions are held, and we're told its country of ___location.
*<font color=teal>'''"Throughout"'''<font color=black> may imply that she sang from start to finish in a mixture of all four languages; while this is an unlikely meaning, it would clearer to use <font color=teal>''"during"''<font color=black>, which doesn't carry the same start-to-finish meaning.
*<font color=maroon>'''"Chinese"''' <font color=black>is used to qualify "Mandarin", but not "Cantonese"; however, both are Chinese languages. It's probably acceptable to remove <font color=maroon>''"Chinese"'' <font color=black>altogether, since China is central to the topic and both languages were linked.
</div>
</div>
|