User:Tony1/Advanced editing exercises: Difference between revisions

Content deleted Content added
Line 55:
<font color=black>Agriculture continues to be a major part of the economy of Somerset. <br/>Apple orchards <font color=red>'''<s>were once plentiful</s> have been plentiful for more than five centuries,'''<font color=black> and to this day the county is <font color=darkgreen>'''<s>linked to</s> known for'''<font color=black> the production of strong cider. The unemployment rate in the county is lower than <font color=purple>'''that of'''<font color=black> the surrounding counties. The largest employment sectors are retail, manufacturing, <font color=chocolate>'''<s>leisure/tourism</s> leisure and tourism,''' <font color=black>and <font color=chocolate>'''<s>health/social care</s> health and social care'''<font color=black>.</b><font color=black>
 
*<font color=red>'''The problem of logic and of vagueness:''' "Once"'''<font color=black> suggests that the orchards were plentiful at some time in the past and are no longer so; but the subsequent clause implies that plentiful orchards have ever since been and still are plentiful, since the county is known for its apple cider. An indication is required of when "in the past" this was, even if as vague as <font color=red>'''"for at least five centuries"'''<font color=black>. We have guessed a solution; the author would need to be asked to check this.
*<font color=darkgreen>'''The wrong lexical item:''' "Linked to"'''<font color=black> is ambiguous; <font color=darkgreen>'''"known for"'''<font color=black> is presumably what the author intended.
*<font color=purple>'''The false comparison:''' <font color=black>The unemployment rate in Somerset is being compared with the unemployment rate in the surrounding counties, not with the counties themselves; <font color=purple>'''"that of"'''<font color=black> can be inserted to stand for "the unemployment rate of" those other counties; then the comparison is valid.<font color=black>
*<font color=chocolate>'''The MOS breach:'''<font color=black> Slashes are [[Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style#Slashes|usually avoided]].