Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/ATLAS experiment/archive1: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 09:18, 22 October 2005

Revision as of 09:20, 22 October 2005

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:* I've addressed most of RN's and grapes' comments. Here's my update:

:*# Lead expanded to three paragraphs, with history and the general idea of the detector.

:*# Unnecessary subheadings in "background" removed, I think it'll be good now, especially with greater context in lead.:

:*# There ''is'' a pressing reason why the list of physics goals is needed; these are six different things being looked for, and if I wrote it out as works it would still ''read'' like a list. Note that I could expand the physics program section substantially, but I am not sure this would improve the article. (Even in a FA, I ought not to be explaining all of the current mysteries of particle physics, or all of how to do data analysis; the article is about the detector.) Any comments on this?

:*# Components now has a proper lead-in

:*# Basically all of the detector systems are now explained in more detail, which incidentally makes them long enough to qualify as proper subsections (I hope). The exception is the muon spectrometer, which is of equivalent rank to the other partscomponents in the scheme of the detector, but about which there really isn't much more to say. It's still too short, but I think under the circumstances forcing a length increase or artificially merging it with another section would hurt the article.

:*# Units are fixed up as per grapes' suggestion.

:* The upshot of all this is that I've added so much the article probably needs another round of copyediting. Please let me know what comments you still have! Thanks again. -- [[User:SCZenz|SCZenz]] 09:18, 22 October 2005 (UTC)