User talk:Tony1/Exercises in textual flow: Difference between revisions

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Exercise two: Responses to feedback
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I guess my point is that these are pretty good exercises for methods of splitting long sentences, but I feel like in some cases they fail to address the underlying problem (ex. A) or they introduce new problems (B & C). --[[User:Spangineer|Spangineer]]<sup>[[:es:Usuario:Spangineer|es]]</sup>&nbsp;<small><font color="brown">[[User talk:Spangineer|(háblame)]]</font></small> 16:49, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
 
 
Thanks so much for this detailed feedback, Spangineer. The goal is to teach people how to split sentences; if this involves minor secondary issues, I've included them, hoping that they don't cloud the issue.
 
'''Question A'''
 
I think by "mainly in western and central Europe" the author means "not in Italy (i.e., southern Europe): elsewhere in the Roman church". But it's a good point: I'll ask Peirigill (and will have to admit that I've used his text here, but he won't mind!) If I need to, I'll change the text—it's shameful, but I ''have'' falsified information when it's linguistically convenient to prove a point. This is not a content article, but a process article, I keep telling myself. <smile>
 
'''Question B'''
 
I read it several times and then realised (I ''think'') where the loss of meaning might be. Can I add "same" to get around this?
 
:However, ardent debate between political factions known as the Federalists and anti-Federalists ensued over the balance between strengthening the nation’s government and weakening the rights of the people. Just 10 years earlier, the <font color=crimson>same</font> people had rebelled against the perceived tyranny of George III of England, particularly his unwillingness to change the taxation regime.
 
Either word order is possible, but I think the existing one is the easiest.
 
'''Question C'''
 
Your suggestion is much better!
 
Thanks, Span. [[User:Tony1|Tony]] 03:07, 4 August 2006 (UTC)