User:Tony1/Exercises in textual flow: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 01:53, 10 August 2006

Revision as of 01:57, 10 August 2006

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<font color=green>SOLUTION</font> </div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;"><b><font color=green>The Earth's atmosphere has no definite boundary, slowly becoming thinner until <br/>it fades into outer space. Three-quarters of the atmosphere's mass<s><font color=crimson>, however,</s></font> is <br/>contained within the first 11 kilometres of the planet's surface.<br/b>

</b>*The second sentence just adds more information, so "however", with its commas, <br/>should be removed.</div>

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<font color=green>SOLUTION</font> </div><div class="NavContent" style="text-align:left; display: none;"><b><font color=green>He is the elder brother of Oasis frontman Liam Gallagh<font color=crimson>er; th</font>e two are <br/>well-known as squabbling siblings.<br/b><br/b>

*In most contexts, announcing that they're brothers and telling us that they squabble will be too different to belong in the one sentence, particularly a short one. Inserting a comma before "and" would be better than nothing, but a semicolon instead of "and" provides a more distinct boundary between the ideas.

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</b>*The relationship is additive, not contrastive.

*"Largely" already indicates that the accusations were directed at other people as well.

*Therefore, "and", not "but" should link to what is simply additional, expected information.

*As usual, "also" adds nothing and should be removed.

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