User talk:Tony1/Exercises in textual flow: Difference between revisions

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:I agree that the solution uses the word "chant" (albeit in two different forms) redundantly. Moreover, it's inaccurate; "plainchant" and "Gregorian chant" aren't synonymous. Plainchant developed long before the eighth and ninth centuries, and it didn't develop primarily in the Frankish lands. The solution in the actual article repeats the phrase "Gregorian chant" several times in the lede, in order to avoid the pronoun "it," which Tony disapproved. Unfortunately, repeating "Gregorian chant" also impedes flow. Consider this inelegant exaggeration of the effect: "Gregorian chant is monophonic. Gregorian chant is unaccompanied. Men, not women, typically sing Gregorian chant." It's as awkward as Bob Dole's fabled repetition of his own name.
:This factual inaccuracy isn't important for your hermeneutical purposes, though. These exercises are designed to teach good editing. The solutions should be examples of excellent prose, even if more than one kind of change is required. Editors need to learn to keep all the guidelines in mind at the same time, after all. However, if you think these examples will make better teaching tools when they isolate specific editing techniques, then you should modify the bad versions of the prose so that only one technique is required to fix each problem. [[User:Peirigill|Peirigill]] 12:54, 4 August 2006 (UTC)
::I absolutely agree. [[User:Tony1|Tony]] 01:18, 19 August 2006 (UTC)
 
'''Question B'''