User talk:Tony1/Advanced editing exercises: Difference between revisions

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*"Sunderland, a Second Division club at the time, won the game; this was mostly due to the efforts of their goalkeeper Jimmy Montgomery, who saved in quick succession two of Peter Lorimer's shots at the goal." There's redundancy here, too. All shots are at goal. So "Sunderland, a Second Division club at the time, won the game; this was mostly due to the efforts of their goalkeeper Jimmy Montgomery, who saved in quick succession two of Peter Lorimer's shots", or "Sunderland, a Second Division club at the time, won the game; this was mostly due to the efforts of their goalkeeper Jimmy Montgomery, who saved two of Peter Lorimer's shots in quick succession". The latter has better flow, in my view.
:Given that the non-advanced exercises include work on avoiding redundancy... [[User:EddieHugh|EddieHugh]] ([[User talk:EddieHugh|talk]]) 14:12, 12 June 2019 (UTC)
:And doesn't "In 2009, he finished the season with a career total of 215 goals, breaking Peter Lee's OHL record by two" contradict [[MOS:NUMNOTES]]? Maybe there's been a change since you wrote that one. They're interesting exercises – thanks! [[User:EddieHugh|EddieHugh]] ([[User talk:EddieHugh|talk]]) 14:25, 12 June 2019 (UTC)