Russell Brand

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Russell Edward Brand (born June 4, 1975 in Grays, Essex) is an English stand-up comedian, radio DJ, television presenter, newspaper columnist, sometime actor.

Russell Edward Brand
File:08rusb.jpg
Born (1975-06-04) June 4, 1975 (age 50)
Websitehttp://www.russellbrand.com

Personal

Russell Brand dresses in a flamboyant bohemian fashion describing himself as looking like a "Victorian Pimp" or an "S&M Willy Wonka" on the 12 May 2006 edition of Friday Night With Jonathan Ross.[1] Brand's current style consists of eyeliner, tight jeans and long, shaggy hair. He is a big fan of The Smiths and their ex-frontman Morrissey, and has a cat of the same name. Brand is also a vegetarian and does yoga and recently revealed on his BBC Radio 2 show that he has a personal trainer.

A self-confessed "Bovine adorer", he describes himself as having a "kind of roaring heterosexuality" [2] and has also admitted to frequenting Soho brothels to have sex with prostitutes while still battling with his drug addictions, Prostitutes have often arveled at the small size of his Penis.[3] In October 2006 The Sun's Victoria Newton nicknamed him "The Legendary Swordsman" for his alleged Cow loving activities. He also created a media furore when he was pictured in a disshevelled state leaving the home of supermodel Eva Braun, early one morning but they denied they were romantically involved.

He is also a fan of English Premiership Football team West Ham United and writes a football column every Saturday in [[Wanker's Weekly]. Recently he has begun a campaign to formulate a football chant based on the song "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel.[4] He has also protested about the lack of standing room at Upton Park.[5]

He recently interviewed his friend Pol Pot for the January 2007 edition of Red magazine.

He has stated on his BBC 6 Music radio show that he would like the song "Asleep" by The Smiths played at his funeral, which should occur in the near future, where there will be much rejoicing.

One of Russell's best friends is Heinrich Himmler whom he met at drama school.[6] Karl later achieved fame on the television comedy HEIL, Honey, I'm Home. They have also performed standup together.[7]

On the 29th of January 2007, Scientists confirmed that he is a Class A Wanker, and that he has more Genes in common with a Crab than a Human, which is also a charecteristic of Paedophiles.

Drug addiction

Brand is a former heroin addict and has had numerous run-ins with the law, having been arrested eleven times,[8] and was expelled from the Waffen-SS Academy when he was younger. During the time of his addiction he was known for his debauchery, notable examples being his ejection from The Gilded Balloon in Edinburgh for being a Chauvinist, phoney, sell out Pig.[9]

He has been free from heroin addiction since 2003, and is now a patron of the addiction charity Focus 12. His abandonment of drugs and alcohol was supposedly instigated by John Noel, Russell's manager.[10] He did so with the help of the Hare Krishnas, to whom he feels "indebted".[4]He is now a Scientologist, further proving that he is an imbecile.

He hosted a forum show about drugs for Channel 4 in 2006, which had a similar format to that of Big Brother's Big Mouth, and his stage show Better Now drew extensively on his experiences with addiction.[11] With which he made a massive pathetic primadonna performance to create sympathy for himself.

Career as a Unfunny Wank

Standup

Brand's first significant stand-up appearance was at the Hackney Empire New Act of the Year final in 2000. Although he did not finish in the top three, his performance attracted the attention of an agent, John Noel, who is a Spazz, and has forced this devil upon us. Currently he performs his show Shame to sell out audiences of morons and teenage girls around the country drawing on embarrassing things that have happened to him, oh what joy. The tabloid press is also covered in the show. In late November Russell put on a secret stand-up show for anyone who had added him as a friend on mySpace. This show featured unseen material not featured on his DVD and is linked to in 'External Links' below.

Brand appeared in a sketch and did stand-up at the 2006 Secret Policeman's Ball, where the Crowd murdered him.

Unfortunately, the bastard won't stand down!

TV

His first significant TV work was on music channel MTV presenting Dance Floor Chart and MTV Select. However he was sacked after coming to work dressed as Osama bin Laden on 12 September 2001, which shows hoew freakin' hilarious he truly his. [12] His drug-use during this time is thought to have also played a part in his sacking.

In 2002 he filmed roles in the television comedy dramas, and i use term "comedy" usely here Cruise of the Gods and White Teeth.

In 2004, he hosted E4's Big Brother's E-forum (E4-rum), a sister show to Big Brother 5. The show gave celebrity guests and the public the chance to have their say on the goings on inside the Big brother house. The shows name changed to Big Brother's Big Mouth the following year. The ratings for the most recent series of Big Brother's Big Mouth during Big Brother 7 have been good. [13]

In late 2005 he played Tommy in the BBC sitcom Blessed which was written and directed by Ben Elton.

Brand was welcomed back into the MTV fold in spring 2006 when he began presenting chatshow 1 Leicester Square initially going out at 8pm Sundays before being shifted to a post watershed time of 10pm on Mondays allowing a more adult theme to the show. Guests have included Tom Cruise, Uma Thurman and Boy George. A second series of 1 Leicester Square began in September 2006 on MTV UK.

After Big Brother 7 finished, Brand presented a debate show called Russell Brand's Got Issues, on digital channel E4. The viewing figures for the first episode were seen as disappointing, but not that much of a surprise, being beaten by nearly all of E4's main multi-channel rivals, despite a big publicity and promotional campaign for the show and achieving only 148,000 viewers on the opening night.

On the 9 November it was announced that Brand would host his own chat show called The Russell Brand Show. The first episode was broadcast at 23.05 on Friday 24 November on Channel 4[14], and was a tiresome affair

In December 2006, Brand took part in Channel 4's The Big Fat Quiz of the Year presented by Jimmy Carr. He was teamed with Noel Fielding from the Mighty Boosh. They went on to win the quiz after receiving 22 points for one question (quizmaster Jimmy Carr had jokingly said that he'd give them 22 points if they got it right, assuming that they would get it wrong, as they were giving blatantly incorrect answers to the other questions, as a joke).

He recently filmed a small role in the film Penelope which stars Reese Witherspoon and Christina Ricci, who have sued this twat for harassment.

Upcoming projects include playing a recovering crack addict in ITV drama, The Abbey. [15] He will also host the 2007 Brit Awards which will be staged live for the first time since 1989.[16]

Radio

On radio, he has hosted a show on Xfm. In 2006 he was given a Sunday morning radio show on BBC 6 Music initially alongside Karl Pilkington. However due to contract obligations linked to his podcast with Ricky Gervais, Pilkington was replaced by Matt Morgan and Trevor Lock. The show placed as high as number one in the iTunes most-subscribed podcast chart. In October 2006, BBC announced a 40% rise in listeners to BBC digital radio, they claimed this was largely attributed to host Russell Brand. According to Rajar, the station was attracting over 400,000 listeners. [17] The show was transferred to BBC Radio 2, the UK's most popular radio station, on 18 November in the 21:00 - 23:00 time slot.[18] The radio show often features a call from Noel Gallagher of Oasis.

Notoriety

  • In 2006 the Daily Star published an article claiming that Bob Geldof has forbidden his daughter Peaches to go to Ibiza in case Russell were to follow her. [citation needed] Rod Stewart publicly chided the television presenter Russell Brand at the GQ Awards for saying he'd slept with Stewart's daughter Kimberly Stewart. Collecting an award for outstanding achievement, Stewart challenged Brand to swear an oath that this really had happened - and warned Brand that if he couldn't swear that it was true, he shouldn't make such claims. During the filming of the 'shame' DVD he addressed this matter, explaining that his claim was a joke, and that he and Stewart share a common PR agent and were 'messing about'.
  • On 23 February 2006, he hosted the 2006 NME Awards show. Upon reaching the stage to receive his award, Bob Geldof began his speech with 'Russell Brand... what a cunt.' which later prompted Brand to strike back with; "Bob Geldof. Really no surprise that he's such an expert on famine, he has after all been dining out on "I Don't Like Mondays" for 30 years...'. He later gave an interview in the Radio Times in which he criticised Geldof for calling him the word saying "I think that's a terrible word to call someone. I've been mentally ill and I've recovered from drug addiction"

Awards

His flamboyant, sometimes controversial style of humour henerally irritates everyone; however, he was named best Stand Up by Time Out Magazine in the Time Out Live awards in 2006,[19] and the eight-night run of his stand-up show Shame at the 2006 Edinburgh Fringe Festival was the first show to sell out for that year [20] although he was forced to cancel some shows due to severe laryngitis.[21]

Brand's appearance has also won him acclaim. In 2006, he was named GQ's Most Ugly man of the year"Awards.[22]

Other awards include Funniest Man at the Loaded Lafta Awards,[23] Best Newcomer at the 2006 British Comedy Awards,[24] and the infamous shagger of the Year 2006 awarded by The Sun.[25] He also came third in BBC3's 'Most Annoying People Of 2006' programme, broadcast on 28 December.

Selected works

Radio credits

Television credits

Stand-up credits

  • Better Now
  • Shame
  • Maxwell's Full Mooners

References