Man writing a letter (1662–65), oil on canvas, by Flemish painter Gabriel Metsu; National Gallery of Ireland, Dublin
This is a set of exercises in which you are presented with a portion of faulty text. It may contain issues of grammar, logic, cohesion, tone, lexical choice, punctuation, or redundant wording. In some cases, there are breaches of Wikipedia's Manual of style.
First, read the text carefully and try to determine where and how it can be improved.
Click on [Show] at the right below this to discover what the issues are. Re-read the faulty text to see if that helps you to identify the problems.
Click on [Show] below this to discover where the problems are in the text; armed with the what and the where may help you to solve the issues, if you haven't already done so.
Finally, click on [Show] to display our suggested solution, with explanations. Where there are MOS breaches, links are provided to the appropriate section in the MOS or its subpages.
The examples are all taken from featured article candidates.
Feedback on how to improve these exercises is welcome on the talk page.
QUESTION A: Agriculture continues to be a major part of the economy of Somerset. Apple orchards were once plentiful, and to this day the county is linked to the production of strong cider. The unemployment rate in the county is lower than the surrounding counties. The largest employment sectors are retail, manufacturing, leisure/tourism and health/social care.
HINT: WHAT THE ISSUES ARE
There are four issues.
A problem of logic and of vagueness.
A wrong lexical item (which needs to be substituted with a more appropriate item).
A false comparison.
A MOS breach.
HINT: WHERE THE ISSUES ARE
QUESTION A: Agriculture continues to be a major part of the economy of Somerset. Apple orchards were once plentiful, and to this day the county is linked to the production of strong cider. The unemployment rate in the county is lower than the surrounding counties. The largest employment sectors are retail, manufacturing, leisure/tourism and health/social care.
THE SOLUTION
SOLUTION A: Agriculture continues to be a major part of the economy of Somerset. Apple orchards were once plentiful have been plentiful for more than five centuries, and to this day the county is linked to known for the production of strong cider. The unemployment rate in the county is lower than that of the surrounding counties. The largest employment sectors are retail, manufacturing, leisure/tourism leisure and tourism, and health/social care health and social care.
The problem of logic and of vagueness: "Once" suggests that the orchards were plentiful at some time in the past and are no longer so; but the subsequent clause implies that plentiful orchards have ever since been and still are plentiful, since the county is known for its apple cider. An indication is required of when "in the past" this was, even if as vague as "for at least five centuries". We have guessed a solution; the author would need to be asked to check this.
The wrong lexical item: "Linked to" is ambiguous; "known for" is presumably what the author intended.
The false comparison: The unemployment rate in Somerset is being compared with the unemployment rate in the surrounding counties, not with the counties themselves; "that of" can be inserted to stand for "the unemployment rate of" those other counties; then the comparison is valid.
