The Continuum Transfunctioner is a very mysterious and powerful extraterrestrial device whose exact properties are largely unknown. It's only known capabilities include projecting a focused and extremely high-energy beam and destroying the universe. What little information exists about the Transfunctioner comes to humanity from two extremely muscular and homosexual males who for some reason speak with German accents. Their descriptions of the device is as follows:
| Continuum Transfunctioner | |
|---|---|
 Continuum Transfunctioner in its inactive state |
It is a very mysterious and powerful device..
...and it's mystery is only exceeded by it's power."