The Continuum Transfunctioner is a very mysterious and powerful extraterrestrial device whose exact properties are largely unknown. It's only known capabilities include projecting a focused and extremely high-energy beam and destroying the universe. What little information exists about the Transfunctioner comes to humanity from two extremely muscular and homosexual male human-like aliens who for some reason speak with German accents. Their descriptions of the device is as follows:
| Continuum Transfunctioner | |
|---|---|
 Continuum Transfunctioner in its inactive state |
It is a very mysterious and powerful device..
...and it's mystery is only exceeded by it's power."