"Simpsons Christmas Stories" is the ninth episode of The Simpsons' seventeenth season. It aired on December 18, 2005.
| "Simpsons Christmas Stories" | |
|---|---|
| The Simpsons episode | |
| "Simpsons Christmas Stories" promo card | |
| Episode no. | Season 17 |
| Directed by | Steven Dean Moore |
| Written by | Don Payne |
| Original air dates | December 18, 2005 |
| Episode features | |
| Chalkboard gag | None |
| Couch gag | On the front page of the Springfield Shopper, there is a picture of the Simpsons sitting on the couch. The title of it is "Couch Gag Thrils Nation." |
Synopsis
The First (Annoyed Grunt)-El
When Reverend Lovejoy can't attend the Christmas sermon due to his train set catching on fire, Flanders immediately takes over. However, he gets a papercut and faints. Homer decides to lead the sermon and tells the story of the first Christmas, with Marge as Mary, Homer as Joseph, Lisa as the angel Gabriel, Mr. Burns as King Herrod, and Bart as Jesus.
Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, even though she's a virgin. The angel Gabriel appears to them and explains that Mary is going to give birth to the Son of God. The three wise men (Dr. Hibbert, Principal Skinner, and Professor Frink) tell King Herrod that they are going to give gold, frankincense, and myrrh to the King of the Jews. When Herrod thinks that the gifts are for him, the men explain to him that they're for the baby Jesus. Herrod becomes angry and claims that he will kill the baby.
At the Bethlehem Inn, the innkeeper tells Mary and Joseph that he has plenty of rooms available with brand new carpeting. However, when Mary's water breaks, he forces them to stay in the manger. Mary successfully gives birth to the baby, and the three wise men, along with the two shephards (Lenny and Carl) come to see Jesus. Joseph is upset because he isn't Jesus' father, and when he drinks some wine, the baby turns it into water.
When Jesus keeps crying, Mary gives him to Joseph. He entertains him by hurting himself and one of the wise men (Skinner). When Jesus finally falls asleep, Herrod and his troops find the manger that they're staying in. They escape and trick the soldiers by putting Jesus' halo on a duck. On top of the hill, Joseph cuts down a pine tree, and as it rolls down, the soldier gets caught in it. The soldiers, along with Herrod, are arranged like ornaments on the tree, and the duck, still wearing the halo, stands on top of the tree. Mary calls it a Christmas tree, and Homer concludes his service.
I Saw Grampa Cussing Santa Claus
When Bart and Lisa find Grampa trying to stick a bear trap on top of the chimney, Grampa tells them that he's trying to get his revenge on Santa Claus. Bart asks why, and to their dismay, Grampa tells them one of his many stories.
Back in World War II, Grampa and his brother Cyrus (never mentioned until now) were fighting off Japanese planes when Cyrus got shot down. Shortly after, Grampa, who was accompanied by Mr. Burns, also get shot down and are stranded on an island. After a few months, they see a plane in the sky, and Mr. Burns shoots it down. However, when they go over to investigate, they see that it is actually Santa Claus. They build him a new sleigh and gather up all the presents. When Santa is about to leave, Mr. Burns knocks him unconscious with a coconut and flies away in the sleigh and claims that he is going to keep all the presents. Grampa catches up to him on a reindeer and jumps onboard the sleigh. After he beats Mr. Burns with a tricycle, he gives the sleigh back to Santa. As Santa leaves, he tells Grampa that he'll be back in a few days. However, he never comes back, and Grampa has to get off using a jet ski he made out of coconuts.
Bart and Lisa believe that it's just another one of Grampa's far-fetched tales, but when they hear a thump in the den, they find that Santa is there. He tells them that Cyrus didn't die, but instead crashed into Tahiti. Santa takes Grampa there, and they meet up with Cyrus and his fifteen wives. Santa explains to Grampa that he didn't come back for him on the island due to his procrastination and eventually feeling embarassed about it.
The Nutcracker...Sweet
After the children of Springfield Elementary perform The Nutcracker, everyone begins to go along their day singing to the tune of the songs from the play. After the opening number, Moe continues his holiday tradition and attempts suicide, and naturally, fails.
That evening, Marge shows Homer his present. Not wanting to upset her, Homer tells her that his present for her is outside and goes to buy her a present (sung to another song from The Nutcracker). Every store is closed, and all Apu has at the Kwik-E-Mart is some jerky made out of trout. Homer searches in garbage cans, gutters, trees, and he even chases down Milhouse, but he can't find anything.
When he gets home, Marge gives Homer his present. He opens it and sees that it is another present with a tag that reads, "To Marge, From Homer." Marge tells him that she knew that he would forget to give her a present, so she gave him one to give to her. He gives it to her and she unwraps it, and Homer sees that it is a picture of him dressed up as Santa with Marge on his lap. They hug and kiss, and Moe rides on a sleigh in the road, missing and eighteen-wheel semi.