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Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

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Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide is a live-action situation comedy on Nickelodeon that debuted in the channel's Saturday night TEENick block party on September 12, 2004 in the US, although the series' actual pilot episode aired in September 2003 without many of the present version's main characters. Nickelodeon's United Kingdom network airs the show Mondays - Fridays at 3:30 PM, and France2 recently acquired the rights to air the show in France (new, blank templates for the tips in the show were created by Jack Allison and Joshua Marx for the foreign airings). The visual effects are done by John Allison Inc., supervised by John Allison and Robin Snelson. The show is produced by ApolloProScreen GmbH & Co. Filmproduktion KG in association with Jack Mackie Pictures, its main executive producer and creator is Scott Fellows, who also happens to be the head writer for The Fairly OddParents, which is why in the short titled "Day Dreaming", which aired on February 5, 2005, Cosmo and Wanda appeared. Fellows also created a new show on Kids WB called Johnny Test and former The Wonder Years star Fred Savage is one of the show's directors. The other executive producers are Jörg Westerkamp and Bill O'Dowd. Rich Magallanes is the executive in charge of production.

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide takes place in California at James K. Polk Middle School. The school is often refered to as J.K.P.M.S., which is possibly a inside joke. i.e "Just kidding, PMS!" It centers around Ned Bigby, a 12- or 13-year-old seventh grader at the school. Throughout each episode, Ned breaks down the fourth wall by giving tips to the viewing audience at home on different subjects, such as the first day of school, school dances, backpacks, and trying out for a sports team. Ned's two best friends are Jennifer Mosely, known as "Moze", and Simon Nelson-Cook, known as "Cookie." While Ned's tips are serious, they usually take place in silly situations.

Each 30-minute episode contains two 10-minute shorts, both of which deal with a subject about school life. Ned, Moze, and Cookie all end up in situations in each short where Ned's tips are needed, and by the end of each short, everything is resolved.

The show is very popular with many viewers, and some of those are viewers who have lost interest in Nickelodeon, even with the popularity of The Fairly OddParents and SpongeBob SquarePants. Those viewers say Ned's Declassified... reminds them of the Nickelodeon of the late 1980s and 1990s with its smart humor. Younger viewers have said they try the tips the show gives them, and that they work.

Characters

Kids

  • Ned Bigby (played by Devon Werkheiser) is a seventh grade student at California's James K. Polk Middle School. He's the show's title character, and the one who gives tips throughout each short, and always ends up learning something, which he makes into a tip . Ned is "school smart" you could say, and since those tips come from him, he's able to help himself do the one thing he wants to do with his middle school years-enjoy them!
  • Jennifer "Moze" Mosely (played by Lindsay Shaw) is Ned's best friend and next-door neighbor. Moze is strong, somewhat insecure and a tomboy. She's currently looking for a best friend that's a girl so someone can share the interests with her that she and Ned don't. Moze is a powerful girl and knows how to stand up to a bully or a sico.
  • Simon Nelson-Cook, known as "Cookie" (played by Daniel Curtis Lee) is Ned and Moze's best friend. He's "half-man, half-machine," according to Ned. Cookie's pair of glasses double as his computer, which he uses in everyday life. When he's seen using his glasses as his computer, he's usually hacking into the school's universal computer system to change something, except grades, because he knows he could get expelled for doing so. He operates his computer by using a mouse from his pocket attached to a cord on his glasses. He also has a printer in his pants called the "pants-printer" which he uses to print things like the voter poll he used while Ned ran for seventh grade president.
  • Suzie Crabgrass (played by Christian Serratos) Is one of the most popular girls in the school. Ned, whom she's nice to most of the time, has a crush on her, and Moze is her chief rival, although it is implied throughout the show that they could make best friends if they didn't try to hate each other. For example, Moze tries to have a test which she claims to be for the yearbook, but ends up being a "best-friend test." She later finds out that the person who got a hundred had copied the answers from Crabgrass. She's co-captain of the school's volleyball team. The other co-captain? You guessed it-Moze.
  • Seth Powers (played by Alex Black) is a player on the school's boys' basketball team. So obsessed with the sport is Seth, that he is never seen without a basketball in his hands, spinning on the fingertips of his right hand. He's not too bright, but his very good looks get him by. Moze has a crush on him.
  • Lisa Zemo (played by Rachel Sibner) is a new student at Polk Middle. She's sweet and nerdy, and often needs nose spray to battle her allergies. She has a not-so-secretive crush on Cookie.
  • Coconut Head (played by Rob Pinkston) is a nice kid with a (very) bad haircut. His real name seems to be Coconut Head.
  • Martin Qwerly (played by Tylor Chase) is a good kid who talks very fast. He is the 7th grade class vice-president, but acts as the president because the real president is the hairy weasel who wanders around school. Martin is the unknown true identity of "Le Forger", the school's best note forger, whom, for a box of coconut macaroons, will write a note to a teacher for any student who needs one. 25 boxes of coconut macaroons will gain a student his personal pager number. Cookie used the latter to his advantage, and was soon having lobster lunches and even massages during a class.
  • The Huge Crew is a trio of female bullies, led by Doris Trembly (played by Jennifer Hyatt), and completed by Mandy Crew (played by Jherimi Carter) and Sandy Crew (played by Cathy Immordino). In order to join The Huge Crew, one has to "love being tough, and love talking about Ned", the latter being their favorite part, and the part that creeps Ned out.They each have a big crush on Ned.
  • Claire Sawyer (played by Brooke Marie Bridges, niece of Diff'rent Strokes star Todd Bridges), is commonly referred to as "Claire Sawyer, Future Lawyer." She's already practicing law, and uses lawyer lingo, such as "no further questions." She's very helpful in any jam, even one Ned can't get out of. (According to Ned, Moze, and Cookie, they've known her since pre-K.)
  • The Killer Bees-the most hated people at Polk Middle, The Killer Bees dominate spelling bees, and intimidate fellow students by spelling at them. The group consists of the Queen Bee (played by Krystal Acosta), the King Bee (played by Carlos Pena), and the Stinger (played by Sean Michael).
  • Bully Loomer (played by Kyle Swann) is a bully who loves to beat up people, but also has a sensitive side-a very sensitive side, as he has a massive crush on Moze. He is currently dating Suzie, a subject that will be touched on in the second season premiere. Bully Loomer is a dumb and unstrong person when it comes to Moze, and Moze hates him because he is a bully and messes with Ned and Cookie.
  • Crony (played by Teo Olivares) is Loomer's follower. Crony always repeats what Loomer says and cannot bear the idea of thinking for himself and going with his own flow.
  • Backpack Boy (played by Kendre Berry) has a crush on Claire Sawyer, Future Lawyer, and carries around a backpack that's so heavy, it usually causes him to fall to the ground. He has two lockers, both of which lead to a room full of backpacks that no one but he or Ned knows about. Rumors about Backpack Boy being a superhero are actually true.
  • Chandra Taylor (played by Marquise Brown) is a character whose rarely seen, but is a friend of Moze's, but not the best girl friend Moze is looking for.
  • Missy Meanie (Played by Carlie Casey) is a cheerleader and the most popular girl in school. Ned actually asked her out on a date, but only because he was dared to. She is usually seen picking on less-popular kids.

Adults

  • Mr. Monroe (played by Jim J. Bullock) is Ned and Cookie's life science teacher. He's full of life and talks effeminately, although no rumors about his character's sexuality have popped up yet (Bullock, however, is openly gay in real life). He treats his students rather harshly, and many consider him "insane." He is also the boys' basketball coach. The character's name is a reference to the character Bullock played on the 80s sitcom Too Close for Comfort, named Monroe Ficus.
  • Gordy (played by Daran Norris of The Fairly OddParents) is the irresponsible school janitor. He's obsessed with nabbing the weasel that became seventh grade class president, and is very eager to join in any of Ned's (or sometimes Cookie's) schemes, but almost never cleans anything, and is often heard saying, "I'll let the night guy get that." Gordy also finds himself in awkward situations that make him look like a has-been spy.
  • Mr. Wright (played by Meshach Taylor, who is most famous for playing Anthony in CBS' Designing Women) is Ned and Moze's ancient history teacher. He's smart and has a love for classical art, and he also runs the school's annual talent show, which all the students dread going to.
  • Ms. Dirga (played by Kim Sava) is Ned and Cookie's gym teacher. Ned once knocked out her two front teeth (intentionally) with a dodgeball to get out of the 7th grade class presidential election. It didn't work-she praised him, and then endorsed him. She is commonly just called Dirga.
  • Mr. Sweeney (played by Don Creech) is Ned and Moze's evil science teacher, whos character has been toned down a bit since season one (if not having always been this toned down since season one and everyone's just overlooking it).
  • Mr. Gross (played by Steve Bannos) is one of Cookie's teachers. He doesn't shower or brush his teeth. No one likes being around him. He is the moderator at the annual spelling bee. The first person to misspell a word has to sit next to him for the rest of the bee and read words other students have to spell.
  • Lunch Lady (played by Loni Love) can see the future in the vegetables (peas or beans) she serves to the kids. Once, she saw in Ned's beans that the Los Angeles Dodgers would win the 2004 World Series. This would be proven untrue in real-life, as the Boston Red Sox would win. This so far is the only prediction that didn't come true. She now teaches the cooking class at the school.
  • Vice Principal Crubbs (played by Hamilton Mitchell) debuts in the second season. Very authoritive and always has shades. He thinks he's Miami Vice, from his white linen suit to his Florida Office decor, and his first crime solving covers a mysterious woodshop attack and cheese puff's "cheedle" residue. His last name is a combination of Crockett and T'ubbs, the two main characters on Miami Vice. His old college nickname was "Dr. No," because he apparently said "NO!!" a lot.
  • Mr. Chopsaw, whose first name is "Dusty" (played by Dave Florek, famous for playing "Mr. Smiley" from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air), is Moze's woodshop teacher. He has a prosthetic right hand. He naturally loves wood, and has a philosophical way about him. He was class president when he was a kid.

Episode list

At the end of each episode, the end credits roll while outtakes from each short are shown.

Episode list of original version

  • This was the version with Boogie instead of Cookie. Stephen Markarian played Boogie. The character was recast, though, because Markarian was judged to be too tall for the role.
  1. Pilot (Originally Aired September 7, 2003)
  2. Ned's Locker
  3. Bathrooms & Project Partners
  4. Teachers & Detentions

Season 1 of newer version

  • (Shown in order in which they aired)
  1. "Guide to: The First Day & Lockers"-this version with Cookie first aired September 12, 2004
  2. "Guide to: Bathrooms & Project Partners"-Sweeney erroneously says that plutonium does not exist
  3. "Guide to: Detentions & Teachers"
  4. "Guide to: Seating & Tryouts"
  5. "Guide to: Crushes & Dances"
  6. "Guide to: Sick Days & Spelling Bee"-BMX rider Mat Hoffman guest starred in the "Sick Days" short.
  7. "Guide to: Rumors & Photo Day"-One student dresses up as Spongebob on "Photo Day".
  8. "Guide to: Elections & Talent Show"
  9. "Guide to: Computer Lab & Backpacks"
  10. "Guide to: Notes & Best Friends"
  11. "Guide to: Day Dreaming & Gym"-Cosmo and Wanda guest starred in the "Day Dreaming" short.
  12. "Guide to: Cheaters & Bullies"
  13. "Guide to: Emergency Drills & Late Bus"


Season 2

  • (Shown in order in which they have aired/will air)
  1. "Guide to: New Semester & Electives"
  2. "Guide to: Pep Rallies & Lunch"
  3. "Guide to: Video Projects & School Clubs"
  4. "Guide to: Notebooks & Math"
  5. "Guide to: Vice Principals & Mondays"
  6. "Guide to: Your Body & Procrastination"
  7. "Guide to: Upperclassmen & Gross Biology Dissection"
  8. "Guide to: Dares & Bad Habits"-Mat Hoffman made a second guest appearance in "Dares"
  9. "Guide to: Substitute Teachers & The New Kid"-Former Nick star Marc Weiner returns to his old cable home as sub Mr. Weiner in "Substitute Teachers"
  10. "Guide to: School Websites & Valentine's Day"
  11. "Guide to: Nicknames & Shyness"
  12. "Guide to: Asking Someone Out & Recycling"
  13. "Guide to: History & Substitute Alien Teachers"
  14. "Guide to: The Trouble Makers & Cooking Class"
  15. "Guide to: April Fool's Day & Excuses"
  16. "Guide to: Science Fair & Study Hall"
  17. "Guide to: Yearbook & Career Day"
  18. "Guide to: Class Clown & Music Class"
  19. "Guide to: Tutors & Failing"
  20. "Guide to: Double Dating & The Last Day"

Season 2 storylines, according to Nickelodeon Magazine, say that Ned will still be pursuing Suzie, but that he and Moze may be more than friends.

Ned's Declassified... airs on Saturday nights this season.

Season 3

  • Show star Werkheiser has stated in the blog section of his MySpace (which he has since deleted, possibly due to posers) that he will begin filming season 3 on October 3.

Second audio program

Ned's Declassified... uses descriptive video service for the visually impaired on the secondary audio program track. The voiceover, longtime DVS narrator Joel Snyder, who also holds the same position for The Fairly OddParents, reads a full list of all cast members and special guest stars during the credits in addition to describing the actions in each scene.

Descriptive video service is not used much on Nick. This may be because most of the network's programming consists of cartoons. When one watches those programs and other live-action shows on the SAP, no dialogue from the actors can be heard, but all music, sound effects, and crowd laughter, for those Nick shows that have a studio audience or laugh track, can be heard just fine. Also on the SAP, not one sound can be heard from commercials. All this only applies to Nick, and none of its sister networks (NickToo, NickToons, Nick GAS, etc.).

The legendary NickToon, Rugrats, began using DVS in 2001. Dionne Quan, the voice of Kimi, is blind in real life.

One famous broadcast network show that uses DVS is The Simpsons.

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