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Lano and Woodley (Colin Lane and Frank Woodley) are a successful Australian comedy duo. They are also affectionally referred to as 'Col(in) and Frank' or 'The Two Men'. They are perhaps most famous for their stand-up comedy and slapstick theatre, as well as their television show The Adventures of Lano and Woodley, which aired on the ABC network in 1997 and 1999. In 1994 they won the prestigious Edinburgh Fringe Perrier Comedy Award. They have written one book - Housemeeting - published in 1996.
Found Objects
The Found Objects was a comedy trio formed in 1987 by Colin Lane, Frank Woodley & Scott Casley. Performing at a variety of fringe comedy nights and even traveling as far as the Edinburgh festival (however supposedly boasting a top of 21 audience members total throughout the 3 week run). Similar to 'Lano and Woodley' the group combined songs, stories and elaborate arguments throughout their act.
The group enjoyed a brief stint doing an evening show on commercial radio in Melbourne for 6 weeks, as well as (supposedly) being offered a pilot for a children's television show (the plans of which fell through). They also became semi regulars on the ABC's comedy show the Big Gig.In 1992, Scott the third member of the group decides to move to Alice Springs and Colin and Frank adopt their nicknames from school (Colin Lane = Lano & Frank Wood = Woodley) to form a comedy duo instead.
Stage Shows
Their stage productions include Curtains, Fence, Glitzy, Slick, and Bruiser - all original shows that they wrote and performed themselves.
In 2004 - 2005, the comedy duo took a tour across Australia called The Island. The show was comprised of comedy sketches, songs and interaction with the audience, all based around them being stranded on a desert island. A stand out feature of this performance was that there was only one major prop used: A motorised, revolving platform, which was used as a stairway, aeroplane, palm tree and court room stand. This performance has been released on DVD and is periodically screened on The Comedy Channel (Foxtel).
In October 2005, they released a CD of songs from many of their performances over the years recorded live (Frank Woodley plays guitar), ''Lano and Woodley Sing Songs''.
In February 2006, they announced their final tour entitled Goodbye, after twenty years of performing together. They performed the show in 37 cities and towns across Australia, which premiered at the 2006 Adelaide Fringe Festival in March. The show has been performed at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in May 2006. On the 6th of May 2006 at one of these sold-out Festival performances, they filmed the show for a DVD. This performance included the first time they've ever wrestled an audience member to the ground! It also saw quite a few fumbles by the pair, because they were unnerved by the different lighting, which allowed the audience to be seen in the DVD. (Usually, the audience is darkened, from the performers' point of view on the stage.) The show featured material from previous shows, and some new material, including faux accusations of why they were breaking up.
The real reason, according to Colin Lane (both on stage and appearing on Andrew Denton's Enough Rope interview show), is summed up like this: "Imagine spending 20 years driving in a car with your best friend." They have both stated that they are dissolving Lano & Woodley so that they don't end up hating each other five years down the track. Both have also expressed interest in exploring other careers.
Housemeeting
Housemeeting was a book written by Lano and Woodley and published by Penguin Books in 1996. Along with illustrations by Frank Woodley the book also contains a forward written by Andrew Denton.
The story follows the boys' conversations after Colin announces that after years of living together Frank will have to move out. Throughout the book Frank makes several desperate attempts to change Colin's mind, but none seem to work.
The story is written in the style of a script, with several chapters covering various subjects (eg: nicknames, cooking, graffiti etc)in which the boys discuss as Frank prepares to move out. The style in which it is written is very self referential and often breaks the 4th wall by talking directly to the reader, putting in deliberate spelling mistakes and filling pages with dots or nothing at all.
Since there was a rather small print of the novel finding a copy of it can be rather difficult for fans. Several local libaries have had copies stolen, and it is often a rarity to be found on the shelves of second hand bookstores.
Quotes
"You stupid little skinny man!" (Col)
"Come on, Col, you're making a mountain out of a...very big hill." (Frank)
"She was so beautiful. She had eyes...which was good." (Col)
"What about Silence of the Lambs?" (Video Store Guy)
"Nah, I'm not really into nature films." (Col)
"If all the village idiots left their villages, and formed their own village - OF IDIOTS - in that village, YOU would be the village idiot." (Col)
"Take it onto your Back-Face!" (Frank)
"Do you sense their enchantment?" (Frank)
"I sense their bewilderment!" (Col)
"You know, the actor guy! Oh, what is his name? See, the thing is...the thing is...the thing is that when I say his name, you’ll go, 'YES! The actor guy, love him, adore him...' But I can’t think of his name. It's on the tip of my tongue. You know who I mean - he’s got the hair...the eyes...a bit of a nose...and a mouth and it’s all held together with...like a FACE!" (Frank)
"You know the strangest thing about Mr. Wilson? When he comes over he never says anything." (Frank)
"Yeah, that’s because he is a mute." (Col)
"Oh right. What’s a mute?" (Frank)
"He’s a mute - he can’t talk." (Col)
"Ohh...No, I’m still not clear on this mute business." (Frank)
"For some reason he is unable to speak." (Col)
"Ohhh...No, I still don’t get it." (Frank)
"He’s a mute! He’s dumb!" (Col)
"Yeah, well, I’m dumb too, but at least I’m polite enough to speak to people!" (Frank)
"Everyone else can die, but you cannot - WHY?" (Col)
"Why do they call him Scott of the Antarctic? I mean, I have a friend Russell who went to Thailand once, but I don’t call him 'Russell of Thailand'." (Frank)
"Do you believe in Harold, Col?" (Frank)
"Harold? Who's Harold?" (Col)
"Harold. That’s God’s name, everybody knows that. It’s in that prayer: 'Our father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name'. (Frank)
"She may not have been my flesh and blood, but she was still my mum. She was there when I learnt how to walk, she was there when I learnt how to ride a bike...and when I got bullied at school by a kid who stole my lunch money and gave me a wedgie by pulling my undies up my bum, it was her who advised me to give up teaching." (Col)
"That's it, tiger, walk to me!" (Frank)
"Frank, the baby is a week old! Little baby Cris..to..pher can’t walk anywhere!" (Col)
"Well, that’s the sort of negative parenting that I've come to expect from you." (Frank)
"You put t'he apple on your head and I'll shoot this arrow through your head... Through the apple on your head." (Col)
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will only cause permanent psychological damage!" (Frank)
"I've got beard fear, Col!" (Frank)
"YOU CAN'T, YOU CAN'T!" (Frank) "Don't call me that!" (Col)
The Primal Warrior
(Col is asking Frank to cut some wood and is holding a pile in his arms.)
Col- “I don’t think you’re pulling you’re weight frankly!”
Frank- “My name’s not frankly!”
Col- “What?”
Frank- “You dropped the wood!”
Col- “Where?”
Frank- “NO you called me frankly, my name’s Frank Woodley, frankly it makes me uncomfortable.”
Col- “What makes you uncomfortable?”
Frank- “Frankly!”
Col- “Yes I wish you were just honest with me what’s upsetting you?”
Frank- “I don’t like it when you drop the wood!”
Col- “I didn’t drop the wood! Frankly I don’t what you’re talking about!”
Frank- “Don’t call me frankly!”
Col- “Cut the wood!”
Frank- “I’m not cutting the Wood it’s part of my name!”
Col- “Grab an axe and cut up pieces of timbre for me!”
Frank- “Oh why didn’t you just say so!”